Today I am grateful, but I must ask Why? I went to see my surgeon & received good news... I don't have to go back to her for a year. On the inside, my heart is smiling. Yes, I still have 4 other doctors to see, one more treatment, & possibly some more reconstruction, but I've been released for a year from my surgeon.
The reason I must ask why is because I know so many people right now who have not received good news. I know I've not been released from cancer & told it will never return. Only God has that answer, & I will live each day trusting in His will for me & trying to follow it. However, I have many dear friends & acquaintances who are suffering, both physically & emotionally.
Cancer is so random. It seemingly comes out of nowhere, & in one fell swoop, your life is forever changed. Even when you receive good news, things have changed (in my case, I think... for the better). My perspective will never be the same. I believe I have more depth as a human & am more serious than ever about loving others & wanting them to know my security, Christ.
So, here's the thing... Randomness at it's best. Some people have finished their fight & gone to be with the Lord. Others (like myself) are still fighting. Some are forced to fight harder than others. It might even be round 2 or 3 for them. Then, there are those who have had scares, but everything turned out okay. False alarm.
As far as I can tell... there is no earthly explanation for this randomness. I trust that none of it is random to God. Perhaps my heartache will be someone else's salvation. That would make it all worthwhile. I wouldn't trade this past year (regardless if today's news had been different).
It's why or is it why not me? I don't have that answer. I only have a small part of the whole picture. Maybe some day, when I cross the Pearly Gates, I'll understand. Maybe I won't. Until than, I plan to take this past year & use it to good.
No comments:
Post a Comment