Five years ago, I was a different person. In some ways, I was never so vulnerable as I was in September of 2011. I was receiving chemotherapy for breast cancer, but I truly had no idea that my life would be forever changed. I must have had an inkling because when my friend suggested I would find a new normal, I remember thinking, "My life is so far from normal, it will never feel like any kind of normal again." I almost resented her for saying that.
As all cancer patients, I did the only thing I could do; I took one day at a time. I lived in fear. I awakened every morning with a heaviness in my heart & a lump in my throat. It was as if even in my sleep, I couldn't get away from this awful thing that happened to me. My life seemingly came to a halt while the lives of others kept happening. I was consumed by my diagnosis; yet it was surreal at the same time (as if I were looking in the mirror, but I didn't recognize my own reflection). The person I saw in the mirror lived in emotional pain, a pain that would not go away.
As I faced each day, my mind was on overdrive. I remained thankful for the good things in my life, but little did I know the surprises that were waiting around the corner. I remember thinking that if I made it to the 5 year mark, my odds would significantly improve. My rate of recurrence would decrease. BUT research changed that little fact. No longer would that be true. My kind of cancer was removed from that category. My odds would remain the same.
So… here I am at this 5 year mark. Wow! I made it! My odds may not be any better than they were 5 years ago, but I believe my odds are better. It's just a feeling. It has no basis. I just feel like I've made it this far, & I am on a roll. I believe I have much life left to live & live it well. As I mentioned, in spite of my sad state, in spite of the fact that my life had halted, some surprises awaited me. These surprises were not anything I could imagine. I don't know why, but I just had no idea what would come my way & the great impact it would have on me.
God not only allowed me to live, to face a tornado, to lose my beloved mother, to walk this cancer journey which emotionally felt like Hell… He kept me alive & gave me 2 grandchildren. I had no idea the unspeakable joy these 2 little darlings would bring me. I didn't know that they would be my breath of fresh air. I didn't know that my healing would come through their unconditional love. I didn't know that they would be my sunshine. They would be the faces I would picture every time my blood pressure was taken. They would be my escape from that heavy heart & lump in my throat.
So… I made it to my right of passage. I never really imagined I would or wouldn't. I just kept facing each day as I could. I have lost much over the last 5 years, perhaps more than I ever imagined. BUT, in my losses also came my gain. Who knows where I would be if cancer never happened to me? I know my life would be in a different place. I cannot imagine where I would be today without my little grand babies. I think God wrapped them up , one with a satin blue ribbon & the other with pink. They came to my heavy heart labeled "Special Delivery." I am here. I am grateful.
Monday, September 5, 2016
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Disappointment
Yesterday was a disappointing day for me. Perhaps I am naive, but I just cannot wrap my head around the ability of a person to repeatedly look another human being in the face & lie. It isn't that I didn't see it coming. I did. It isn't that I was going to vote for her. I was undecided. I have problems embracing her opponent. I can't vote for him either.
She had to know she would get caught. Is she that driven to become president that she had to lie about something that she knew would be found out & made public? There are so many things wrong with this, I can't even… Why does she think she is above the rules other human beings must follow? What else has she so convincingly lied about? Does she truly care about education or anything else she claims? Who the heck knows?
Her character is her problem. I believe she will say whatever she needs to say to accomplish her lifelong goal. And… we must ask? What about her judgement? Her judgement about her private emails, her judgment about thinking she is above the law, her judgement about lying when she knew she'd eventually have to face the consequences of her lies. Her judgement to send classified information through private emails is clearly beyond poor. I'm not the smartest fish in the sea, but I believe even I would have known better.
She put our beautiful country at risk so many times in so many ways on so many levels. Poor judgement. Selfish. Uncaring. Neglectful. Stupid. I am sure my list is incomplete. I have always wondered if her agenda was for her country or herself. Yesterday, that question was answered once & for all, & my suspicions were confirmed.
The next problem occurs because our current president is not only endorsing her, he is campaigning with her & for her. How does he sleep at night? He is no better than she is if he endorses her dishonesty & poor judgement. Is he so personally disgusted with the attacks of her opponent on himself that he can't see beyond that? He is condoning her blatant lies. He is condoning her bad judgement. He is condoning someone who knowingly put our country at risk. What is wrong with him?
Lastly, why does she walk away from this with no penalty? Others in government have rotted in prison for lesser crimes. Yet, she walks away unscathed & continues campaigning that very day. Her character is not unscathed, but many seem to be capable of overlooking that. So what are they voting for? Nobody really knows who she is. Just a bag of lies who will do anything to promote herself. Should someone who puts herself above all others & the laws of the land hold the highest office of the land?
Our country is in a fix! We have 2 candidates with severe character issues. The highest office of the land demands honesty, authenticity, self sacrifice, good judgement, self discipline, humility, someone who doesn't play games with peoples' minds, & an earnest compassion for all people. We need someone who can & will protect the land that we love. As terrorism reaches an all time high in our country, we have no candidate with Godly character & a sound mind. Pray tell, what are we going to do?
She had to know she would get caught. Is she that driven to become president that she had to lie about something that she knew would be found out & made public? There are so many things wrong with this, I can't even… Why does she think she is above the rules other human beings must follow? What else has she so convincingly lied about? Does she truly care about education or anything else she claims? Who the heck knows?
Her character is her problem. I believe she will say whatever she needs to say to accomplish her lifelong goal. And… we must ask? What about her judgement? Her judgement about her private emails, her judgment about thinking she is above the law, her judgement about lying when she knew she'd eventually have to face the consequences of her lies. Her judgement to send classified information through private emails is clearly beyond poor. I'm not the smartest fish in the sea, but I believe even I would have known better.
She put our beautiful country at risk so many times in so many ways on so many levels. Poor judgement. Selfish. Uncaring. Neglectful. Stupid. I am sure my list is incomplete. I have always wondered if her agenda was for her country or herself. Yesterday, that question was answered once & for all, & my suspicions were confirmed.
The next problem occurs because our current president is not only endorsing her, he is campaigning with her & for her. How does he sleep at night? He is no better than she is if he endorses her dishonesty & poor judgement. Is he so personally disgusted with the attacks of her opponent on himself that he can't see beyond that? He is condoning her blatant lies. He is condoning her bad judgement. He is condoning someone who knowingly put our country at risk. What is wrong with him?
Lastly, why does she walk away from this with no penalty? Others in government have rotted in prison for lesser crimes. Yet, she walks away unscathed & continues campaigning that very day. Her character is not unscathed, but many seem to be capable of overlooking that. So what are they voting for? Nobody really knows who she is. Just a bag of lies who will do anything to promote herself. Should someone who puts herself above all others & the laws of the land hold the highest office of the land?
Our country is in a fix! We have 2 candidates with severe character issues. The highest office of the land demands honesty, authenticity, self sacrifice, good judgement, self discipline, humility, someone who doesn't play games with peoples' minds, & an earnest compassion for all people. We need someone who can & will protect the land that we love. As terrorism reaches an all time high in our country, we have no candidate with Godly character & a sound mind. Pray tell, what are we going to do?
Monday, June 13, 2016
In the blink...
What happens in the blink of an eye can become a moment which forever defines a life. A few defining moments took place on June 12, 2016. These moments have already forever changed lives. The impact will ring through the ears of the victims and their family members & friends for eternity. Time froze, & most of us, will never be the same.
As I glued my eyes & heart to CNN, I watched in horror. It was just 7am, & the news I was absorbing was incomprehensible.
"Was it terrorism? Was it a hate crime? Maybe it was both. Well, really... What's the difference? Hate & terrorism are 1 in the same." All of these moments were sad, but for me, the saddest moment involved a young man.
He had blond hair, & he was so choked up, he had trouble getting his words out. He had lost the best friend he ever had. The nightmare began. "Was it the music? No, it was gun shots!" The 2 friends started out the door, one behind the other. The blond guy was first. When he looked
back, his friend wasn't there. "What? Where was he?" Now hours had gone by, & the tearful young man had no word from the best friend he ever had. As he sniffled & cried, he said, "I guess in a situation like this, you do what you have to do?"
But, now he was second guessing himself. "Where was his friend? Why hadn't he heard from him?" He hadn't gotten to the fact that a hate crime had been committed. I'm not sure if he knew the shots came from the gun of a terrorist who was on the FBI Watch List. No... He was just heartbroken & confused.
As I watched him on my TV, I began to tremble. My eyes welled up. I was already shaken from the News. As the day went on, the awful truth slowly began to unravel. TERRORISM. HATE. LGBT. Those were the 3 words I kept hearing. I saw broken, hurting faces. I saw people. I didn't see LGBT. No, I heard TERRORISM. I heard HATE. I saw people who genuinely hurt . These hurting souls I saw may have been LGBT, but not to me. That didn't matter. They were people who hurt just like you & me. They needed comfort, not judgement, not silence... just comfort.
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Today...
Today, something beautiful happened! My nephew & his wife had a baby boy. This beautiful lil boy is the fifth great grandchild of my parents. If my parents were alive to see this day, I know they would have overwhelming joy. I am sure they are rejoicing in Heaven. What a legacy! Five precious grandchildren all under the age of three. All because two people fell in love.
I look at the gene pool. It's always amazing to see what traits are passed along through the generations. Some skip a generation while others skip all generations. My parents were a beautiful mix (most days). My mom was a musician, a poet, & an artist. She had pretty blue eyes. She was on the small side. My dad was tall & brawny, at least that's how I saw him as a little girl. He was a teacher. He loved to farm & took great pride in the vegetables he grew. He was a servant & a character. He was an honest man & made my brothers laugh without even trying.
My mother loved being a spur of the moment kind of girl. She loved having friends drop in unannounced. Sitting on her porch was her favorite past time. Her parents were from Georgia, & she loved her heritage. She adored each of her 10 grandchildren & cared very much about watching them grow up. She took time to enjoy each one of them & loved them unconditionally. She had a fun sense of humor & tried not to take life too seriously.
My Dad took us camping. He even chopped the wood. He was a fisherman. He loved a good fish fry & made the best hushpuppies in the state of Illinois. He pounded stakes in the ground to tie up his tomatoes as if he were building a house. He did a lot of things Dad's didn't do in his day. He took his kids to buy the family dog. He took us to the doctor, the dentist, & to buy new shoes. He bought a fresh Christmas tree every year, knowing full well my mom would not be happy with it. Still, he gave it his all, strung up the lights, & then listened to her complain.
As we grew into adulthood & began to have babes of our own, something terribly sad happened. My dad became ill with cancer. I remember one day, my mom sitting in her Sunday School classroom shedding tears because she feared he would not see his grandchildren grow up. He didn't, but in spite of that, his spirit lived on in us, & his impact was huge in their lives.
So… on this very beautiful day, I reminisce. I wonder… "Will this little boy born today be a fisherman? Will he be musical, or perhaps he'll be a farmer?" And, what about my pretty little niece that was born a few weeks ago? "Will she be an artist? Maybe she will be a servant." I hope she has my mother's sense of humor. As I go down the line through each of her grandchildren, it's easy to see how the gene pool of my parents inevitably showed up in each one of them. A promise that it will show up again in this new generation.
The great grand children are all quite small. It's exciting to see their little personalities develop. I see the sparkle in my mother's eyes in the eyes of my grandchildren. I have much hope that her spontaneous spirit & her sense of humor will shine brightly in their lives. My grandson swims like a fish. Once the neighborhood pool opened up for lap swim, my mom swam rain or shine. It's hard to imagine just how this gene pool will show itself, but it will. And, in so doing, my parents legacy will live on in these bright & beautiful great grand children.
I look at the gene pool. It's always amazing to see what traits are passed along through the generations. Some skip a generation while others skip all generations. My parents were a beautiful mix (most days). My mom was a musician, a poet, & an artist. She had pretty blue eyes. She was on the small side. My dad was tall & brawny, at least that's how I saw him as a little girl. He was a teacher. He loved to farm & took great pride in the vegetables he grew. He was a servant & a character. He was an honest man & made my brothers laugh without even trying.
My mother loved being a spur of the moment kind of girl. She loved having friends drop in unannounced. Sitting on her porch was her favorite past time. Her parents were from Georgia, & she loved her heritage. She adored each of her 10 grandchildren & cared very much about watching them grow up. She took time to enjoy each one of them & loved them unconditionally. She had a fun sense of humor & tried not to take life too seriously.
My Dad took us camping. He even chopped the wood. He was a fisherman. He loved a good fish fry & made the best hushpuppies in the state of Illinois. He pounded stakes in the ground to tie up his tomatoes as if he were building a house. He did a lot of things Dad's didn't do in his day. He took his kids to buy the family dog. He took us to the doctor, the dentist, & to buy new shoes. He bought a fresh Christmas tree every year, knowing full well my mom would not be happy with it. Still, he gave it his all, strung up the lights, & then listened to her complain.
As we grew into adulthood & began to have babes of our own, something terribly sad happened. My dad became ill with cancer. I remember one day, my mom sitting in her Sunday School classroom shedding tears because she feared he would not see his grandchildren grow up. He didn't, but in spite of that, his spirit lived on in us, & his impact was huge in their lives.
So… on this very beautiful day, I reminisce. I wonder… "Will this little boy born today be a fisherman? Will he be musical, or perhaps he'll be a farmer?" And, what about my pretty little niece that was born a few weeks ago? "Will she be an artist? Maybe she will be a servant." I hope she has my mother's sense of humor. As I go down the line through each of her grandchildren, it's easy to see how the gene pool of my parents inevitably showed up in each one of them. A promise that it will show up again in this new generation.
The great grand children are all quite small. It's exciting to see their little personalities develop. I see the sparkle in my mother's eyes in the eyes of my grandchildren. I have much hope that her spontaneous spirit & her sense of humor will shine brightly in their lives. My grandson swims like a fish. Once the neighborhood pool opened up for lap swim, my mom swam rain or shine. It's hard to imagine just how this gene pool will show itself, but it will. And, in so doing, my parents legacy will live on in these bright & beautiful great grand children.
Thursday, March 31, 2016
Are you listening?
Our world is a scary place. Anyone who denies that is in denial. All you have to do is watch the news to know that there is really no safe place to be any more. Our country has been infiltrated by terrorism & even managed to raise its own terrorists. What makes a terrorist whether home grown or from afar?
As I listen to the motivation of young people leaving their homes to join terrorist groups and study why people become bullies, the most common thread I can find is lack of belonging. I believe Dr James Dobson was on to this years ago when he said the reason young people suffer from peer pressure, anorexia, suicide, & all sorts of issues is because they lack self esteem.
Let's think about this for a minute. Not belonging ='s low self esteem. Can low self esteem be so powerful that it could cause a young man to leave his home just for a sense of belonging. Could lack of self esteem be what caused Dylan Clebold & Eric Harris to cause a bloody massacre in their Columbine High School?
What caused people to sign on for committing their own suicide as they crashed into the World Trade Center on 9/11? What causes serial killers to commit atrocities as they take people down, usually 1 child at a time, or 1 woman at a time. How is it that some people grow up with so little sense of value for life, not only the life of others' but their own?
Perhaps they never felt valued as children. That is one possibility but some of the young men who left their families in Brussels to join terrorists left good homes with caring parents. In fact, to their parents' knowledge, they showed no signs of distress prior to their leaving. Their families were left in shock with utter despair.
In addition to these observations, I have one last thought or possibility. It's accountability. Teens need accountability. They need help processing our world. If they didn't grow up in war torn places or weren't kidnapped into violence at young ages, if they came from a loving home, if their parents had no idea they were up to something unspeakable, what's left to conclude? ACCOUNTABILITY.
Keep tabs on your children. Spend time with them. Quantity matters as well as quality. Move your focus from your technology, stop multi tasking, & pay attention to your child. If both the parent & the child can't agree on it, the child can't wear it. Who is your child with? Where is your child? How much access does your child have to technology? When is the last time you snooped? Have you checked their text messages lately? Have you given your child & friends a ride to an event? What is the conversation you heard? Are you listening?
As I listen to the motivation of young people leaving their homes to join terrorist groups and study why people become bullies, the most common thread I can find is lack of belonging. I believe Dr James Dobson was on to this years ago when he said the reason young people suffer from peer pressure, anorexia, suicide, & all sorts of issues is because they lack self esteem.
Let's think about this for a minute. Not belonging ='s low self esteem. Can low self esteem be so powerful that it could cause a young man to leave his home just for a sense of belonging. Could lack of self esteem be what caused Dylan Clebold & Eric Harris to cause a bloody massacre in their Columbine High School?
What caused people to sign on for committing their own suicide as they crashed into the World Trade Center on 9/11? What causes serial killers to commit atrocities as they take people down, usually 1 child at a time, or 1 woman at a time. How is it that some people grow up with so little sense of value for life, not only the life of others' but their own?
Perhaps they never felt valued as children. That is one possibility but some of the young men who left their families in Brussels to join terrorists left good homes with caring parents. In fact, to their parents' knowledge, they showed no signs of distress prior to their leaving. Their families were left in shock with utter despair.
In addition to these observations, I have one last thought or possibility. It's accountability. Teens need accountability. They need help processing our world. If they didn't grow up in war torn places or weren't kidnapped into violence at young ages, if they came from a loving home, if their parents had no idea they were up to something unspeakable, what's left to conclude? ACCOUNTABILITY.
Keep tabs on your children. Spend time with them. Quantity matters as well as quality. Move your focus from your technology, stop multi tasking, & pay attention to your child. If both the parent & the child can't agree on it, the child can't wear it. Who is your child with? Where is your child? How much access does your child have to technology? When is the last time you snooped? Have you checked their text messages lately? Have you given your child & friends a ride to an event? What is the conversation you heard? Are you listening?
Saturday, March 26, 2016
The Worth of Your Fear
What is the worth of your fear? If you could trade it in for peace or joy or a sense of security, would you? BUT… what if there were a COST that came with your trade? Would you still make the trade?
Sorry for all the questions, but I believe their answers are worth contemplating…
I have never paid much attention to Donald Trump until last summer. I've never watched The Celebrity Apprentice. I've never stayed in a Trump Hotel. I've never cared about his wealth, his marriages, or his personality. He just really didn't matter to me. If it weren't for his hair, I wouldn't even have put a name with his face.
Last July, my ears began to perk up when I heard some of his words. I believe that what comes from the mouth is what's overflowing in the heart. I think it's fair to say that your words are a good representation of the the real you. As we consider the words that have been uttered time & again by this presidential candidate, I think it's a MUST that we sort them out.
As we do this, we must evaluate where we stand… The trade off for our fear is BULLYING & BIGOTRY if we vote for Trump. I've heard it said by an elderly man being interviewed, that Trump's ego knows NO limits. Looking to our older generation is always hind sight. After all, that generation has the most experience in life. They have more wisdom & a greater ability to put the pieces together than the younger generations.
The danger of an ego that must be satisfied is in how the man with the ego prioritizes. His ego will always be his first priority. His character matters. It will determine his decisions, his words, his actions. Being president means making decisions of unimaginable magnitude. His decisions will impact not only our country but our world (obviously).
So… he's elected. After all, his so called success as a businessman qualifies him to be president. Let's pretend he builds his wall, & Mexico even pays for it. If we've lived through a few presidential elections, we know that it's highly unlikely that the candidates' promises are fulfilled.
Let's wake up! It's too late for the wall. It may bring a false security, but at best, that's all it will bring. Terrorists have infiltrated our world, & I don't believe a wall will protect us. It will just serve as a way to monitor the influx of immigrants. At one point I believe he was encouraging war crimes, killing the families of terrorists, & breaking up the families of immigrants. If we make our decisions without putting a name or a face on these innocent victims, it's easier to kill the terrorists families. (They kill innocent people all the time). It's easier to break up the families of immigrants. (They're here illegally, & that is what they deserve).
What person do you want to be? The one who trades in his fear for false security, for bullying, for bigotry, for hurting innocent people (including children). The one who says "I'm fed up with politics, so I'll vote for something even worse." The Bible has a lot to say about fear. I don't believe God ever says to trade our fear in for evil. It's like dealing with the Devil. If you don't think it through, it may seem appealing. You may even be able to justify it in your mind. However, once the deal is made, we will reap what we sew.
Sorry for all the questions, but I believe their answers are worth contemplating…
I have never paid much attention to Donald Trump until last summer. I've never watched The Celebrity Apprentice. I've never stayed in a Trump Hotel. I've never cared about his wealth, his marriages, or his personality. He just really didn't matter to me. If it weren't for his hair, I wouldn't even have put a name with his face.
Last July, my ears began to perk up when I heard some of his words. I believe that what comes from the mouth is what's overflowing in the heart. I think it's fair to say that your words are a good representation of the the real you. As we consider the words that have been uttered time & again by this presidential candidate, I think it's a MUST that we sort them out.
As we do this, we must evaluate where we stand… The trade off for our fear is BULLYING & BIGOTRY if we vote for Trump. I've heard it said by an elderly man being interviewed, that Trump's ego knows NO limits. Looking to our older generation is always hind sight. After all, that generation has the most experience in life. They have more wisdom & a greater ability to put the pieces together than the younger generations.
The danger of an ego that must be satisfied is in how the man with the ego prioritizes. His ego will always be his first priority. His character matters. It will determine his decisions, his words, his actions. Being president means making decisions of unimaginable magnitude. His decisions will impact not only our country but our world (obviously).
So… he's elected. After all, his so called success as a businessman qualifies him to be president. Let's pretend he builds his wall, & Mexico even pays for it. If we've lived through a few presidential elections, we know that it's highly unlikely that the candidates' promises are fulfilled.
Let's wake up! It's too late for the wall. It may bring a false security, but at best, that's all it will bring. Terrorists have infiltrated our world, & I don't believe a wall will protect us. It will just serve as a way to monitor the influx of immigrants. At one point I believe he was encouraging war crimes, killing the families of terrorists, & breaking up the families of immigrants. If we make our decisions without putting a name or a face on these innocent victims, it's easier to kill the terrorists families. (They kill innocent people all the time). It's easier to break up the families of immigrants. (They're here illegally, & that is what they deserve).
What person do you want to be? The one who trades in his fear for false security, for bullying, for bigotry, for hurting innocent people (including children). The one who says "I'm fed up with politics, so I'll vote for something even worse." The Bible has a lot to say about fear. I don't believe God ever says to trade our fear in for evil. It's like dealing with the Devil. If you don't think it through, it may seem appealing. You may even be able to justify it in your mind. However, once the deal is made, we will reap what we sew.
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Silence
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men (or women) to do nothing" (Edmund Burke). I believe that everybody has the right to their own opinion about life. I am not mad at others for their beliefs. Sometimes, however, I cannot help but wonder how they arrived at their conclusions. Just out of sheer curiosity, if nothing else. I love conversation with people who have differing opinions. I think it's a true sign of friendship when you can lovingly discuss your differences & still love each other.
I want to share a little story… Sometimes you have no way of knowing how a person feels until you wear their shoes. As a cancer survivor, I suffer with longterm effects of chemo therapy. When I share my suffering with one of my doctors & ask for her input, the best I get is, "At least you're alive." Those 4 words may be true. In fact, they are true. However, they are not the least bit comforting. They even incite a bit of anger in my generally non angry person. I believe these words minimize my suffering. I am grateful to be alive. I thank this doctor for saving my life. However, I want her to listen to me & help me. I don't want her to dismiss my troubles with, "At least you're alive."
Now, let's talk about the issue at hand. My Dad whom I love dearly, used to say, "Do right, be right & everything will be alright." I wish this statement were true. Everything is not alright in this world, & everything is certainly not alright in my life. I have spent my life trying to do right, & still I have hardships that others don't have. My Dad spent his life trying to do right, & he died of lung cancer. Many people try to make a difference in this world, but it doesn't make everything right. In fact, sometimes they lose their life for a cause. Sometimes they lose the respect of others who think they are crazy or misinformed.
Truth is… our world is full of social injustices whether we are aware of them or not. Just because we have managed to create a good life for ourselves does not mean that others aren't suffering. If we pretend that people in this world aren't hurting, that does not change the fact that people are hurting. If we ignore their cries for help or minimize their suffering, that does nothing. If we say they brought their troubles on themselves, that may be true or not, but then we must ask the question,"Why did they bring harm on themselves?" Always, there is a reason.
Our world is full of prejudices, but until we walk in another man's shoes, we have no idea. Since cancer, I have experienced some odd looks & received some hurtful comments from well meaning people. They just have no idea. So… if you don't want to "dig in" & love hurting people, maybe that is not your calling. Maybe you could pray for them. Maybe you could donate to a cause which reaches out to them. But please, at least open your yes, look outside the world you were blessed enough to create at this time in your life, & admit that people hurt. Everyone is not in a good place, & most likely, the root of their hardships is not their own doing. And please, don't slam another person for caring.
I want to share a little story… Sometimes you have no way of knowing how a person feels until you wear their shoes. As a cancer survivor, I suffer with longterm effects of chemo therapy. When I share my suffering with one of my doctors & ask for her input, the best I get is, "At least you're alive." Those 4 words may be true. In fact, they are true. However, they are not the least bit comforting. They even incite a bit of anger in my generally non angry person. I believe these words minimize my suffering. I am grateful to be alive. I thank this doctor for saving my life. However, I want her to listen to me & help me. I don't want her to dismiss my troubles with, "At least you're alive."
Now, let's talk about the issue at hand. My Dad whom I love dearly, used to say, "Do right, be right & everything will be alright." I wish this statement were true. Everything is not alright in this world, & everything is certainly not alright in my life. I have spent my life trying to do right, & still I have hardships that others don't have. My Dad spent his life trying to do right, & he died of lung cancer. Many people try to make a difference in this world, but it doesn't make everything right. In fact, sometimes they lose their life for a cause. Sometimes they lose the respect of others who think they are crazy or misinformed.
Truth is… our world is full of social injustices whether we are aware of them or not. Just because we have managed to create a good life for ourselves does not mean that others aren't suffering. If we pretend that people in this world aren't hurting, that does not change the fact that people are hurting. If we ignore their cries for help or minimize their suffering, that does nothing. If we say they brought their troubles on themselves, that may be true or not, but then we must ask the question,"Why did they bring harm on themselves?" Always, there is a reason.
Our world is full of prejudices, but until we walk in another man's shoes, we have no idea. Since cancer, I have experienced some odd looks & received some hurtful comments from well meaning people. They just have no idea. So… if you don't want to "dig in" & love hurting people, maybe that is not your calling. Maybe you could pray for them. Maybe you could donate to a cause which reaches out to them. But please, at least open your yes, look outside the world you were blessed enough to create at this time in your life, & admit that people hurt. Everyone is not in a good place, & most likely, the root of their hardships is not their own doing. And please, don't slam another person for caring.
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