I cannot take a moment of life for granted for myself or for anyone. Sometimes I know my own grief is too much for my loved ones to bear. I get that so I don't always share what's troubling me. I take my sadness up with the Lord, & I believe He is where I find my peace. I believe there is a special place in Heaven for those who remain faithful in the Lord even as they suffer. I believe that place is eternal. I know our life on this earth is temporary, & I believe that Heaven is that place of "no more suffering, no more tears." I hold fast to that truth, & it brings me joy to contemplate eternity for those whose hope is in the Lord.
Some of my thoughts may be foreign to those who read this blog. They may be rejected by some & others may respond, "to each his own." Some may say I am a fool while others may think I have gone off the deep end with my faith. Some will struggle with the inability to reconcile suffering with a loving God. I accept the opinions of others. I embrace hearing them & respectfully discussing them. I have a lump in my throat when a life is lost too soon or taken without warning. In all honesty, I question God when such sorrows are so immense. I don't pretend to have the answers, & I can only share how I navigate life.
If you are reading this blog, & my words seem foreign to you, I have something on my heart to share... Some of you who suffer may not understand what a relationship with the Lord looks like. Again, I can only share my story. As a small child I sang "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so." I believed this. It was simple. I was small. This little belief in a young heart grew as I grew & became the foundation for my life. I don't always get it right, but I try to be Christlike. I try to love others as myself. I try to love God with all of my heart, mind, soul, & strength. Sometimes I fail, & the remorse is not something I relish. It hurts.
What I most lovingly want you to know is that I turn to Christ when I am hurting, when I struggle, when I am confused, when I feel "let-down,", lonely or alone, when I have wronged another, when I need affirmation, assurance, wholeness, or when my heart breaks for myself or for another. I don't say this to "shove my faith down your throat" but rather as food for thought if you are suffering without the Lord. God is bigger than our hurt, our anger, bitterness, confusion, misunderstanding, resentment, emotional wounds, unhealthy bodies, etc. If we sincerely turn to Him, I believe we can find peace. We may not get the healing we hope for, the answer we are looking for, but our prayers are not in vain. We can find a peace that transcends our troubles, our broken hearts, our understanding, our sick bodies. It doesn't make sense. It just is what is. Trusting in Him is how I survive this world.
As I write this blog, 10 women come to mind who have relentless metastatic cancer. Their journeys have hope, but their suffering, their fear, their emotional pain, their sick bodies, their physical pain, the toll taken on their loved ones, their treatments, their strength, their courage is unimaginable. Putting your hope in the Lord doesn't mean you'll be miraculously healed (although I believe that sometimes happens). It means you'll have the presence of our Heavenly Father in your life, Christ in your heart, & the Holy Spirit intervening in your life for good. I believe there is peace for you which transcends all understanding. If you have questions, concerns, doubts, etc, I'd love to try to find comfort for you in your suffering. Suffering without the Lord isn't something I can imagine. I want peace for you.
