Thursday, October 10, 2013

I just can't explain it...

Last night I went to a gathering for Breast Cancer Survivors. It was a night of pampering & fun. It was a night of learning, & a night of sharing. Mostly, it was a night of love. I can't explain the bond I have with other breast cancer survivors. I can't explain the joy. I can't explain the love. It just is...

I went with a newly diagnosed friend. She is a friend I would probably never have met if it weren't for this terrible disease. She is so sweet. I love her! God has given me a new friend! I met up with an old friend I didn't know was on this journey. I am so sorry for the reason we ended up at this gathering, but I couldn't help but admire her strength, her joy, & her faith! Wow!

About 1/2 way through the evening, I reconnected with a friend I met at my first Pray for the Cure. She walked with me through the opening ceremonies of my first Race. She is such a beautiful person. I think of her often & was so happy to see her. Her presence in my life came at just the right time. What a comfort!

I made a new friend. She has a business called The Stylish Survivor. Her presentation addressed all of the feelings I have struggled with over the last few years with dressing my ever changing body. She discussed things that really hit home with me. I was dazzled by her insights. I was comforted by her words. It made me feel like what I am going through is normal for what I have been through. I am shocked I am saying normal because there is nothing normal about breast cancer & the after effects of its treatments & surgeries.

A man who founded an organization, Men against Breast Cancer, spoke. I was so touched by his compassion for his mother, a 22 year survivor. He was 29 when she was diagnosed, & he said he felt just like a little boy. Suddenly, life stopped, & it was his turn (along with his brother & his father) to give back, to nurture this woman, to walk this frightful journey by her side. Just to be with her.

To be honest, 2 years down the road... breast cancer still scares me. It has ripped my security out from beneath me. It causes me anxiety. I worry for my beautiful daughters. That is the unthinkable for me. It causes me daily to place myself back in the palm of God's mighty hand. It hasn't robbed me of my joy or my relationships. It has increased my joy in unexplainable ways. It has deepened my faith. It has introduced me to people & thoughts I would never know. Yes... I live with this constant fear, but the joys are unfathomable!


1 comment:

  1. Hi Susie, I was actually just checking out a few of your posts and had a quick question about your blog. I was hoping you could email me back when you get the chance -emilywalsh688 (at) gmail.com- Thanks : )

    Emmy

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