Monday, March 10, 2014

I always loved you.

Tomorrow will be a unique experience for sure. Our home of 20 years is being bulldozed. I've gone by the house periodically & checked in. It's such a strange feeling to stare up at your home & see your belongings suspended in mid air hanging from the rafters. Every time I go, I see something new… my pajamas, my husband's swimming trunks, our comforter. I never know what I will find.

White stuffing is strewn all over my living room. I don't exactly know where it is coming from, but it keeps multiplying. The ceiling is falling down rapidly now. From afar, I can see my armoire turned upside down on the upper level. Our antique bed, our first bed (a family heirloom) is still in its place. It remains intact comforter & all. Our upstairs toilet was found in our side yard.

A few weeks ago, I found our wedding photo (an 11 X 13) on the main level. It had fallen from our master bedroom upstairs. Yes… it is all tattered & muddy. It tells a story. I noticed my dish scrub brush the other day. It is standing next to the kitchen sink. Somehow it remained untouched by the vortex. Yes, incomprehensible. The randomness of the whole situation is mind boggling.

So… tomorrow, my home & all of our belongings that were not salvaged will come down. I cannot even imagine how I will feel. I had plans tomorrow for therapy, but when I found out it was the last day I would see the last 20 years of my life, I decided I needed to be there. I need to say good bye to my house & say thank you for being such a good house. I always loved you.

Our house was good to us. We raised our children there. Chipper, Dolly, Kit, Lester, Otis, & Bella all lived there at one time or another. My mom visited me there. Those were special times. We had sleep overs, birthday parties. We camped in the back yard, had a campfire ring, turned our play fort into a water park… Oh the memories.

I remember putting the wading pool out for the kids, but my mother was the one who basked in it. We grilled out, picked rhubarb, listened to our chimes, & watched flowers planted in memory of my cousin bloom each year. We gazed at the stars. We watched movies on the garage door in the summer. We loved our summer nights. They were the best.

Of course, we celebrated our holidays. We recovered from surgeries. I survived chemo & radiation on that couch. I painted the basketball back board. My husband & Otis played ball every evening. The neighbors were the kindest. My kids walked to school. We cried many tears, fought a little, & laughed a lot. My husband entertained us with silly songs he created. They always cheered us up. Oh my… I could go on for ever...




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