Not gonna happen!

This weekend has been a very reflective weekend for me. I am saddened by the number of dear souls I know who are on this journey called "cancer." I went to see the movie last night, "Just Alice." It too caused me to reflect on the toll any disease takes on a person & its family. I am  not immune to Alzheimer's as my mother suffered deeply from that illness in her later years.

I experience memory loss due to chemo brain. My life is not at all comparable to Alice's life (the character in the movie with early onset Alzheimer's); however, I can empathize with her. But… what struck me the most was how her family hurt for her. Sometimes, they became annoyed by her issues (which was frequently followed by guilt). I found myself sobbing throughout the movie.

When I got home from the movie, I checked in with Facebook, only to find out that a dear friend's cancer has turned in to a bigger deal than how it first presented. I checked in on another friend, only to find that his cancer keeps popping up in new areas. Right now, I have a dear friend (so faithful) who is hoping to begin experimental treatment.

All of my friends who suffer are good people. One is a missionary. One is a fire fighter. One is a homemaker who is in the midst of planning a wedding for her daughter. (Yeah… I've been there). 2 others are  Homemakers. One is a poster girl for fighting colon cancer. So courageous! They ALL have deep faith. They all have given their lives to helping others & sharing the love of Christ. All except 1 is under 50. I cannot forget the child I pray for with brain cancer. He is 6.

I look at myself, & I see how cancer has attempted to ravage my life in every facet. It has attacked some of my dearest relationships. It has caused neuropathy to progress at a rapid pace. Some days I struggle to keep up with its. It has attempted to rob me of my joy. Not gonna happen! It has scared everything I cling to out of me except Christ. It has caused me to wear a sleeve I detest. It has stolen many of my memories. It has made me gain weight. It's caused me to seek counseling & physical therapy.

Cancer has hurt the ones I love the most. This aspect is rarely talked about or written about (as far as I know). Material for the Survivor is sometimes plentiful, but what about the family? This is why I sobbed through Just Alice. I could so relate to those looks of hurt & frustration in the eyes of her family. I could see how they cared for her, & what it cost them. Then, of course, there's always the fear of genetics.

So… forgive me if I write my fingertips away over the next few months as I try my hardest to raise money for my cause. I don't want to wear anybody out or become a thorn in their side. No… I just feel as though I need to be an advocate for both the Survivor & the family. Horrible things happen in life (even to the best of people). No one is immune. Please give. It could be your loved one or you sitting in this boat.