"At least you're alive."

So… it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, & some people are rightly so in being sick of hearing about Breast Cancer. Even I am sick of hearing about it, tired of thinking about it, & heartbroken for my dear friend who is battling with all her might & suffering unimaginably from the side effects. It isn't just breast cancer. It's colon cancer, it's cancer caused by Agent Orange, it's every kind of rotten caner known to man & animal.

If you have not been diagnosed with cancer & somehow have avoided thus far loving someone who has, you may wonder what toll it takes on a family. I was at a meeting a few months ago where a newly diagnosed young woman said she wanted the world to know… "It's about the patient." I felt ill at ease, but I had to speak my peace. NO… it's not just about the patient.

Being the patient is awful, but being the family in despair is just as awful (only in a different way). I can honestly say that cancer has changed almost all if not every fiber of my being. It has effected my life on every level imaginable. It has done the same to those closest to me. It has caused depression. It has robbed my family of joy.

Sometimes I get angry at cancer. Sometimes it makes me cry. Other times, I thank God for it because it has forced me to have experiences I would otherwise never have known. I believe life on this earth is all about being refined for the next life. It has certainly refined all of our hearts. The effects are so deep, yet sometimes, we are not even aware of them. It has connected me to some of the best friends I have, & then it has taken them away from me.

We need research, because research changes treatments. Research brings life. Research recognizes specific DNA's of cancer genes, & allows for specific treatment that works. We need research into how to help the patient & the family deal with the devastation. Yes… we have support groups, but too often the answer from the doctor is, "At least you're alive." This statement is true, but it is not comforting.

The cancer patient & the family members often feel very alone even when they are not alone. It's a disease that can cause you to recoil. It can build a wedge in your relationships. It causes grief, & people grieve differently. Sometimes, it steals your dignity. Sometimes it scares the you know what out of you. It's a mixed bag of tricks. No 2 cases are alike, yet connective threads always exist.

AS I close this blog, I ask you to be aware. Do the right thing. Don't put off tests that are recommended. They really do save lives. If this journey becomes your's, let people into your life. Let them share your journey. Let them help you. It's healing for both the patient & the loved one. Be your own advocate. Ask questions. Never feel stupid. Whatever part you have in this journey, acknowledge the truth, & seek  help for your needs.