Haunted!

It's Halloween, & I am haunted. Thursday was a very special day. It was a luncheon & a fashion show for breast cancer survivors. It was fun to see my very special survivor friends. They are dear to me. I sat next to a woman who is a longtime cancer survivor. She said the fashion show made her want to cry. It broke her heart to see such young women suffering the grueling treatments of cancer.

I was having the same thoughts. It's such a day of mixed emotions (same as The Race for The Cure). It's  a bond so strong with other women, yet the connection is so bittersweet.  It's a lump in your throat. It's sharing the same pain & fears, yet each story has its own little twist. It's a real live nightmare with the loving arms of others who are having the same dream wrapped around you.

As I was scrolling through Face Book last night, I came across a post that troubled me deeply. I understand that people are sick of hearing about breast cancer. I understand that even other cancer survivors are sick of it. I am sick of it. I didn't ask for it, & if given a choice of which cancer I would choose, I don't really have an answer. They all suck!

This post was speaking of another disease which I will not mention. I will just say I have a loved one effected by it, & I do not take its impact lightly. However, the post stated that the said disease isn't sexy. It isn't pink. It doesn't involve boobs, football players, or cute shirts. I read the post, & I did a double take. My heart sank. I sat on my couch stunned.

Please tell me that nobody on this earth thinks that breast cancer is sexy. It takes all the strength & courage a woman can muster to have her so called "boobs" amputated. The repercussions are great. I will never be the same, nor will my relationships. There is nothing sexy about it. I am appalled that a human being could be so heartless as to think, promote, or state such thoughtless words.

I am haunted by my disease. I actually have a number of diseases, & they all haunt me. It takes my all to live life to the full in spite of my circumstances. It's a choice & a daily discipline. It's not easy, but it's the only way to live, alive, vibrant, & full. I don't want a pity party. One disease is not more glamourous than another. They all potentially rob you of your dignity, your femininity or masculinity, your life, & your grit.