What does that even mean?

It's been a long time since I have blogged. The Spirit has to move me, & It hasn't lately. I love to blog, & I miss it when I don't, but truly, I hope that my blog is a vehicle in which others can be reached for Christ. I have stuff in my life just like every body else. My stuff isn't tidy & nice, & sometimes, it takes a lot of strength to live my life. However, it could always be worse. That's for sure.

The truth is… we live in a cursed world. We will never be whole until we are fully healed in Heaven if we know Christ. Until then, we suffer. Some say, we should embrace suffering. What does that even mean? How do you embrace something awful? I have learned to embrace my own suffering, but I fully realize there are limits to what I can embrace. I've yet to reach those limits, & selfishly, I hope I never do. They are things that are too sacred, too precious to my soul, to even mention.

My take on what it means is this… As we go through life, we will be dealt some blows. Those blows can come in many forms: emotional wounds, physical wounds, job loss, health issues, & the list is never ending. Some of these blows turn our world inside out & upside down. They may even cause us to lose our ability to cope or to function.

I've had a few of those blows in my life. I've sunk into my couch & cried big tears. The stress has made me physically ill at times. The worry has stripped me of my ability to live. Truly, I've been paralyzed with anxiety at times. I can feel it when it blows in. My body goes into this overwhelming sense of hopelessness. I feel nauseated. My shoulders ache. My heart beats rapidly. Really, all I can do at this point is cry.

Why am I sharing this? Because it's more common than people realize. I want people to know that there is help available if they are willing to receive. It takes humility & losing your sense of pride to admit you have reached the bottom of your barrel. It also takes that feeling of being in over your head to realize you need help. It's a sick place to be, but it doesn't have to be forever. Seeing it as temporary helps. Maybe it's a cycle; hard to break on our own. However, I believe in second chances. I believe in change.

So here's how I embrace my suffering. I go to my Lord & Savior & cry. I ask Him to help me see straight. I seek the council of friends & professionals. I take medicine for my anxiety. I ask God to use my suffering to help another person. I try to live transparently. Sometimes things are too painful to reveal. Forgive me when I haven't been 100% real or have lead you to believe I have it all together. I don't.

In embracing my suffering, I give it ALL to God. I trust that he has my ultimate good at heart (even if it doesn't feel that way). I know that because I love Him, others will be helped through my sorrow. I believe life is simply about refining our hearts, fitting us for Heaven. In my view, each of my heartaches allows God to do just that. I wouldn't choose my troubles, but if God has allowed them, I trust Him. He knows better than I do. He knows the future. He has the whole picture.