Elizabeth

Today is bittersweet. I'll start with the sweet. Worship in church this morning really touched my heart. It's quite simple; I love my church. I don't love it because it's home to me now. I don't love it because people have cared for me & nurtured me. I don't love it because the sermons are meaningful. I never leave untouched. I love my church because it doesn't judge people. It doesn't condemn. You don't have to follow rules to belong. You belong first.

Today our church honored volunteers with a pig roast. We were invited for a few small things that we do. The weather was surreal. I got to visit with people I rarely have a chance to get to know. The sun warmed the earth as we sat there enjoying fellowship. The food was delicious. We even had s'mores.

It was kind of an old fashioned picnic. Sometimes I think going back to the simple things in life are the best. I couldn't help but remember the church picnics I attended as a child. Deja vu. There were hula hoops & gunny sack races, a hayride, & bright colored leaves laced the ground. The sky was radiant. The people were genuine. The pastors were servants.

As we drove away, my spirit felt refreshed. The more I know my church, the more I love it. My husband & I closed down the Ice-Cream Shack with one last visit since it closes today for the season. Again, it felt surreal. We were engulfed with color. The smell in the air was comforting. The sunset was vibrant. I just wanted to soak it all in…

Interwoven into this day of beauty was sadness. My dear friend is in the hospital. She has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. She is very sick. Her pain is out of control. Her last hope of chemo has pushed her over her edge. She has endured so much. My heart is heavy for her. In fact, I think it is broken. It's sad to journey through almost 11 years of life  (your children's' childhood) & then continue to suffer so immensely.

Emotional pain & physical pain are a part of the breast cancer journey. I don't know anyone who has suffered as much as this dear friend. I don't know anyone who has remained more faithful. I don't know anyone who has done more to prepare her own heart & mind & the hearts & minds of her children for this suffering. None the less, she suffers. Her loved ones suffer in anguish too. No matter how much preparation you do, you still suffer.

The author of a book that has taught me much says that we would be foolish not to prepare for suffering. I believe he is right, but I also believe that preparation does nothing to diminish ones suffering. It anchors you through the storm. It maintains your dignity. It's all about how you walk this journey. But… even someone who has given it all to her Lord & Savior continues to suffer beyond what we know. I have come to a new realization today. I finally get it. We must let go of all of our fears because only the grace of God can get us through the unbearable. Please pray for her.