Noodles & Co

Today my friend & I had a date. We sat in my car at my favorite ice-cream place eating soft pretzels with cheese, drinking cokes on crushed ice, & of course, we had some dessert. We laughed, & we laughed. We had that mentality…"What's said in this car, stays in this car!" I swear, it was the best medicine ever. The sun was shining. Life was good for those moments.

I also spent time today with a loved one who is being accepted into a clinical trial. 3 friends arrived at her house at the same time (not intentionally). Together we cried. We held hands. We prayed. It was beautiful in such a sad way. We hugged. We said our good-byes. The good news came much later in the day. She was accepted.

This evening, I dined with 2 new friends from a ministry called "Hello Gorgeous." As we sat eating our Noodles & Co, we all 3 had a feeling that our meeting up was a God sort of thing. This non profit reaches out to cancer patients. I feel my heart is being lead in a similar fashion. I'm not exactly sure how that fleshes out, but none the less, I bear a burden for cancer patients. I have a desire to be a comfort.

This weekend, I will be speaking at a women's' retreat. There may only be 15 people in my little room, but it's a BIG step for little me. I'm sharing my story. It's a story called "from Ashes to Beauty." It's a story about laying your heart aches at the feet of Jesus & asking Him to turn your ashes into beauty. It never ceases to amaze me how God takes the ugly & somehow makes beauty come from it. In the midst of the suffering, it's hard to find beauty.

I believe that's where trust comes in. Sometimes our heartaches are so big, we can't see past the moment. That's when I pray… "God, I don't know what to do. Please somehow, take my ashes, & make them beautiful." It doesn't always happen overnight. No, not even occasionally. It's like paying your dues. You have to learn the life lesson sometimes before you get a glimpse of anything beautiful. Sometimes, it may not even be your lesson to learn; you are just a part of the story (a chess piece if you will).

So when my eyes are clouded with tears for a loved one, a dear friend, or even myself, that's when I say this little prayer. I save it for when I've tried everything I know to do. It's my last resort, but maybe it should be my first. Its my giving up in a way, or maybe put in a better way, my letting go. It's my realization that on my own I am powerless. On my own, I can do little to make a difference in this big world & even my own little life.