my 2 cents on parenting

Today a young friend made dinner for my husband & me. It's a long story, so I will save the reason why for a more appropriate time. The best part of the delicious dinner was visiting with her. When I see her mothering her little daughter, it always melts my heart. Her lil girl is precious, & she is such a good mama.

She asked me today to write a book about what I'd "do over" as a parent. Funny that a few weeks ago, I wrote a blog on parenting. I never published it. A few days later, I deleted it. I just didn't feel qualified to give my 2 cents on parenting. But, since my darling friend asked me, I am going to attempt to share a few thoughts…

I have 3 daughters, & I have a few things I'd do differently for each of them if I could go back in time. #1  I would seek professional counseling much sooner for things that were over my head. #2 I would cook healthy meals & strive to have a pleasant dinner hour. #3  I might try home schooling. #4  I would not encourage having a boyfriend at 11 or 12 years old. #5  I would stay out of the dating department & not live through my children.

My husband always said they did not need to be the best at anything. If they made the team or the play that was enough. He was absolutely right. I hear parents say all the time that once their children start something, they are not allowed to quit until the season is over. They need to learn commitment. My take is different… My child's self worth is more important to me than the worth of my dime. If they are miserable, & the activity is not necessary, I did & still would allow them to quit. Of course, I would encourage them to stick with it, but when I knew the situation was breaking their heart, I said enough.

Driving my kids & their friends anywhere was an honor & the best source of information I ever received. I greeted each friend with a smile, turned up the music, & tuned in my ears (to their conversation). Oh… the things I learned. Having kids over was also an honor. I encouraged friendship & loved their friends. I still do! I think it's best to let them & their friends work out their differences. I never regretted not getting involved. Sometimes I did get involved, & I cannot say much good ever came from that.

I always tried to validate my kids. If a teacher was mean, I did not pretend the teacher was nice. I helped my children cope with their hardships. We discussed every aspect of life. I wanted to be their resource. I didn't want them learning certain things from their peers first. We believed in Santa. We trick-or-treated. Birthdays were special, & the Easter Bunny & Tooth Fairy left nice little surprises. I tried to discipline out of love, not anger. I was a "softie" for the most part, & they laughed at me when I got mad.

I loved each one of them in their own way, & I still do. I did not play favorites, & I still don't. I believed in honest feedback on both ends. I apologized when I needed to. I made some big mistakes. I regret. I cried tears of joy & sadness for them. I still do. We always had a cat & a dog. We still do. I learned to love their music (even when it got on my last nerve). We went out for ice cream to celebrate happy moments or just for fun. I always forgave them. I still do. I never over punished. They were the greatest privilege of my life. They still are.