I can face tomorrow.

Tonight I am staying up late to avoid lying in bed trying to sleep. Tomorrow I see my Oncologist for a 3 month check up. I didn't think I was bothered by this, but I am beginning to wonder. I've not felt quite myself today. Perhaps it's taking more of a toll on me than I know? Funny how I can live each day almost forgetting about some of my details, but then as the day of reckoning approaches, old fears come creeping back.

I start to relive some of last year's nightmares, & before you know it, my head is not in its best place. I have plans. Now I'm hoping nothing goes wrong because I am looking forward to my plans. Time to put my head in a better place. A little while ago, a dear friend posted this scripture on Facebook... I sought the Lord, & He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears (Psalms 34:4).

I  posted on Facebook that I am feeling great, but prayers are always appreciated as I face tomorrow. Already, I have over 70 people praying for me. A friend even said she'd say a Rosary for me. I feel so honored, I hardly know how to express how such an outpouring of prayers makes a person feel. I know those prayers will carry me through tomorrow whatever my outcome. I feel a bit guilty because I know there are so many people more in need of prayer than me.

Lastly, my daughter shared something with me that means the world to me. She texted me a quote from her church service today about the bad things that happen in your life... We don't forget because we can't forget, but let it become a trophy of God's grace in your life. She said it reminded her of me. Suddenly, I felt like having cancer was worth every emotionally painful step. I couldn't think of anything more meaningful than that.

So as I tuck myself into bed in a few minutes, I am going to pray through the alphabet for all of my loved ones. I did this daily during radiation. I am going to meditate on the scripture my friend posted. I'm going to strive to fulfill the words of the quote my daughter shared with me. Lastly, I will pet my sweet Otis & Bella, & peacefully drift off to sleep. I can face tomorrow because I know who holds the future (He Lives, an old hymn).