God doesn't make them go away either.

Blog. Blog. Blog. I have so much in my head, I can't possibly process it all. Today I went to see my beloved counselor at The Cancer Center. It's so good to have someone who helps me work through my troubles. I am blessed. Life is hard. It's short. I think it's best we not make it more difficult than it already is. I love that my counselor has a strong faith in Christ. I love that she can read me, & that I am comforted by her words.

So much in life is out of our control. It's these things that weigh heavily on my heart. She pointed out to me today that I have no control over how others respond to my words. I have no control over the return of my cancer or the health of my loved ones. No control over who has cancer, who's has returned, & who's has spread. I have no control over anyone's walk with the Lord but my own. Yep... that's right, no control.

So... what do I do with these out-of-control things that burden me? I pray & pray some more. I do all I can, & I entrust my troubles to God. And then... my human side allows these things to trouble me. It isn't that I don't trust God; it's just that these things make me sad. It isn't that I can't put some of them on the back burner, but eventually they make their way right back to a front row position in my head. Perhaps this is just anxiety.

Yes, I can take medicine for my anxiety. I'm fine with that & thankful for it. Truth is... it doesn't erase my troubles. It does help me not to dwell on them, but it certainly does not make them go away. God doesn't make them go away either. As my counselor explained, these troubles aren't just my troubles. They belong to others too & are a part of their story, their spiritual journey with God. Perhaps God is refining them as well as me.

The best medicine? Counting the things in my life that make me smile. Spending time with treasured friends. Spending time in prayer. Digging into scripture & letting it penetrate my heart. Listening to cheerful music. Cleaning. A little shopping. Eating healthy. Loving my animals. Putting others first. Doing the best I can. Laying my burdens at the feet of Jesus. Time with my family. Talking to my beloved husband. Crying on his shoulder. Counseling. Adjusting expectations. Forgiving. Loving. Laughing. Crying. Seeking truth. Exercise. Accepting help. Helping others...