so much worse.

This year, on August 14, I didn't take a moment to remember that it was the 2 year anniversary of the discovery of my cancer. No... I had other things weighing heavily on my mind. I sat by my beloved mother's bedside as she gently faded into the Heavenly realm, into the arms of her precious Savior. I feel so incredibly blessed that God allowed me to have those last few treasured days with her.

A few months ago, I had a dream which I believe God gave me. I dreamed that my mom, her husband (Everett), & I were standing in a parking lot. My dad (who has now been in Heaven for 19 years) was walking toward us. He grabbed my mom's hand & started to run. I shouted, "Dad! She can't run!" My mom & my dad were smiling big smiles. They were running hand in hand, & waving at Everett & me. We just stood watching in amazement.

When I awoke from this precious dream, I immediately realized its significance. I knew my mom would soon be joining my dad in Heaven. I knew I would miss her, but I loved seeing her reunited with my dad & seeing her healed & so happy. I felt as if God had blessed me by allowing me to see such a reunion in my sleep. Words do not do it justice.

On the 15th, my mom went to Heaven. My brothers & I felt as though she had been in & out of the Heavenly realm for a few days. Kind of taking a sneak peek if you will. A few days later, I realized I hadn't recognized the 2 year anniversary of the beginning of my incredible journey with cancer. So... with all due respect, I've taken some time to evaluate my journey.

I have much for which I am thankful. I recently experienced the happiest day of my life when one of my loved ones came back to Christ. I am in love with my grandson & overjoyed to think that my middle daughter will become a mama in January. She is having a girl. I am tickled pink! As I realize the legacy my mom left her grandchildren, I have deep hope, that God will allow me to do the same.

I have lymphedema in my left arm. It is a result of a lymph node dissection & radiation. It causes my left arm & mostly my hand to swell. I have to wear a daytime & a nighttime compression sleeve. My arm & hand ache at times. It's bearable but not what I wanted. My radiologist made it seem inevitable. I think he knew what he was saying.

I have other issues which are bothersome & will remain that way. I feel as though my body is physically broken, yet spiritually whole. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's life. Physically, I have limitations, but spiritually, I feel limitless. Not to mention the fact that things could always be so much worse.