Today I hate cancer.

Today I hate cancer. It has invaded my friend's body for the second time. She is a beautiful person. In fact, they don't come any sweeter or more pure in heart than she. The unknowns exist; it's one step at a time. It's a surrender/fight for sure. Cancer is an intruder. It is not welcome. It disrupts life. It stops life. It numbs its victim. It causes post traumatic shock. It has lasting effects. It impacts every aspect of a person's life. It causes sleeplessness. It causes pain. It has a rippling effect. It causes depression. It changes ones body.

Its treatments are more frightening than the disease itself. They cause hair loss, nausea, &  foggy brain. Restlessness, agitation, & rotted fingernails are a possibility. Neuropathy, sick stomach, fatigue, loss of body parts: all of these can happen.  Burned/blistered skin, low blood counts, fevers, infections, pain, and other unimaginable symptoms. The treatments can be fatal, yet it's important to have a positive attitude. A double edged sword. They are a crapshoot. Yet... they save lives.

I've seen the look before. It was in my own eyes. It's that look of surrender. It's a loss of ones dignity. It's submitting to awful things. It's fear. It's knowing you have NO control. It's trusting doctors you don't really know. It's living in limbo. The unknowns for sure outnumber the knowns. Deflated. Beaten. Surreal. Stunned. Sad. Scared.

We ask the unanswerables. The doctors don't really know. Statistics exist, but we might beat the odds. Each case is different. How one's body responds to the treatment is unique. There are meds to counteract the symptoms, but they too have side effects. Is there Hope? ALWAYS.

The unwanted fight begins... Yes, it's a journey. Treasures will be found. As one pours out their heart to God, as their deflated soul begins to fill, courage builds. "His grace is sufficient." These words take on new meaning. The spiritual realm becomes close. Eternity becomes a fixation. Hearing God becomes a necessity. Faith deepens. Hope ALWAYS.