out of the woodwork

Sunday morning marks the 1 week anniversary of the destruction of my neighborhood. I cannot help but recall the events that took place that day. I play the scene over & over in my head. I picture the faces, the anguish, the heart wrenching sobs. I am still numb, still brain dead, & sometimes overcome with anxiety. I rejoice over much. I count every blessing I can find. I know my God has not forsaken me. I value my sweet husband more than ever. I am shaken.

It isn't so much the loss of every stitch of clothing I owned or my pretty jewelry I collected. It isn't my car. It will be replaced. It isn't the amount of work the restoration requires. No... it's none of the above. It's the devastation. My home/neighborhood reminds me of how I pictured Hell. Right now being in my home is unbearable. The temperature is so cold, it's not tolerable (even with boots, scarf, gloves, hood,  winter coat, & sweat shirt). Debris, broken glass, fluff, & filth are everywhere.  The tarp on our roof flaps constantly in the wind creating a miserable frightening sound. It is dark. It is Hell.

I look out my front window, & all I see is devastation. My neighbor's home actually crumbled into her basement. The trees resemble death. I am uncomfortable. My heart aches. Nothing is the same. I cannot find refuge in what was once my safe place. Only heartache, loss, & destruction now reside. The unknowns are great, but nothing we cannot bear. Our future is hopeful. We will persevere. No choice.

Only one thing is keeping me from self-destructing, & that is the kindness of the human heart. Without the love that has wrapped around me, I don't believe I could function. I think the devastation would kill me. Not my own, but my surroundings. I have never walked amongst such destruction, let alone lived in it. However, the one thing that keeps me from knowing I am not in Hell is this: people have come out of the woodwork to love me. They are carrying my burdens & filling my every need. The word "friend" has taken on a new meaning. The depth of my feelings I have for these kind souls is something I have never known.