the day after

The day after has been a slow day. Reality has begun to seep in a bit.  We are a little less shocked. We have had too much time to contemplate our losses because we have not been able to get to our house. Gas lines are being purged. The area, clearly, is unsafe. The unknowns are no different than yesterday, We are in waiting...

We wait to be able to get to our home. We wait to meet with the adjuster. We wait. We wait. We wait. As we try to occupy ourselves, we begin to think of odd things from our home that we will never see again. Most things don't matter, but occasionally, my brain pauses when something of sentimental value comes to mind.

As newly weds, we were given an antique spindle bed from my husband's parents. It was a family heirloom. It was beautiful. It was called a three quarters bed, not even a full bed. It sat higher off the ground than today's modern bed. I loved it. We slept in it until we adopted our first Lab. Dolly cramped our style a bit, & we had to upsize. The bed was consequently passed down to each of our girls. I will never see it again.

My wedding rings are missing. The diamond was a gift. My husband inherited it because his Uncle thought he was his namesake. Once his uncle passed away, we realized it was too late to tell him otherwise. So... my husband gave me the diamond for Christmas. Together we chose a beautiful setting. Short of a miracle, I will never see it again.

Yes, there are other treasures ... American Girl Dolls that once came to life when my daughters were young. All of my jewelry (my precious jewelry) is dispersed across the corn fields & to who knows where! My clothes are gone. My shoes, my beloved Bobs, are scattered across the land. My dog is traumatized. My cat is fine.

We are like lost puppies. We make a decision, & then we change it. We enter our neighborhood only to be told we must turn around. People want to help us, but honestly, we don't know how to help ourselves. We have purchased a few clothes. We've made an itemized list of our specifics. We've speculated about what we will do once we know where we stand.

We think. We rethink. We spin our wheels & feel as though we have accomplished very little. We don't always agree on what is a priority. It's a tender time. Our nerves are frazzled. No... it's not like being diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. The day that happened, my heart was cut in two. The day my house disappeared, well, it's hard to say...

I spend much of my time focusing on things of eternal value. I love to think about Heaven.  I love to ponder my faith.  I love people. So,  I have to say... these things of sentimental value: the spindle bed, the American Girl Doll,  the wedding ring, & even my wedding dress. I have to let them go. I will miss them. I am human. But... they are things. Their value is not eternal. They are not really replaceable, but I will live without them.