a weekend to remember...

This week end something really special happened. My husband & I attended a Weekend to Remember. For those who don't know, it's a marriage conference. We only went because my husband needed to go for work. It's not normally something we would  do. I wasn't in the mood for it. I don't know why; I just didn't feel like going. As I was driving there to meet my husband, it occurred to me that it probably was no coincidence we were going to this conference. So… I thought to myself, I should try to hear every word of truth spoken, & get the most out of it.

As we set up his booth for work, I shared my insights. He nodded his head as if he had the same thoughts too. As every conference goes, much information was shared. Sometimes, an overload of feeling results (fatigue & all), but that was not the case this weekend. The info was invaluable, & the speakers delivered the goods with authenticity, humility, truth, & humor. We laughed throughout the weekend, took notes, filled in the blanks, & most importantly connected.

I don't like to dwell on my hardships, but I don't think it's good to minimize our troubles either. The last 4 years have been filled with loss & hardship. They've also been filled with blessing after blessing. In all honesty, I think the stress & loss of the last 4 years has taken its toll on both of us. That's kind of a no brainer. When I think of what we've endured & had to adjust to, I'm truly amazed we've done as well as we have. I'm not patting our own backs, I'm just saying that if 4 years ago, someone told me the path our lives would take, I think I might have crawled in a hole & hid. It would have been unbearable for me to face.

Through it all, my faith has deepened. That is my greatest treasure on this journey. I think as any marriage faces the unpredictable, it suffers. Our heartaches were real, & sometimes, we had trouble coping. Looking back, we cried tears, we got angry, we laughed, we hung in there, we felt numb… yeah, pretty much every emotion possible. To say the least, we didn't always respond in the most honorable way. We didn't always put the other person first. Sometimes, we just didn't know what to do. 

My husband experienced panic attacks. I've had to increase my anxiety medicine. I am going to so much physical therapy, I can barely keep up. We have reached out to our doctors for help. We have sought counseling. We have fought to hold on to our sanity, & sometimes we lose it. Our journey continues (hardships & all). But… this weekend, we renewed our vows. We wrote each other a love letter. We said words that were long overdue. We forgave. We restored. We giggled. We talked & talked some more. We are still talking...