I thank the "little c"

What does a smile mean? It means so much. I believe it is an indicator when its genuine of how a person feels. When a person loses their smile, I believe it's a sign that things are not well. That is what cancer does to people. As the little c & it's treatments beat a person down, they lose their smile. I believe this condition comes & goes with perseverance, unwanted news, treatment after treatment, & reality. The wearing down of ones body (at any age) is never easy. We all age naturally, & sometimes even that is hard...

But for the person with cancer, it's a different picture. Life becomes living between appointments. I am only speaking for myself here (just my truth). When appointments come at 6 month intervals, you begin to breathe & maybe even take back your false sense of security, maybe even put your cancer on the back burner. Not easy to do. Some people are better at it than others. Sometimes, in the midst of joy, it's even possible to forget about it. Other peoples' needs & heartaches provide distraction.

But… when it comes down to it, this journey takes so much strength, courage, & hope. When you are first diagnosed (at least in my case), you don't fully "get" the meaning of these words. You might wear a tee shirt or a wristband that displays these words, but honestly, you are in such a daze, you cannot even comprehend what these words will mean a few months, a year, & even farther down the road.

As with any illness, cancer survivors bond with other cancer survivors. With this bond comes strength & understanding. Encouragement & camaraderie result. You now have a whole team rooting for you. The sad part is, you watch each other suffer, & you now have more friends with cancer than you do without. It's painful to see your sisters suffer. It's painful to see them lose their physical strength. It's helpless. It's mean. It's cruel. It's heartless. It's a reminder. It's reality. It hurts.

Yesterday, I walked into the Susan G. Komen Memorial Affiliate, & joy swept through my soul. For me, it's a place of refuge. A dear friend always hugs me. My favorite color, Pink, is always there. I saw the design for this year's Race for The Cure tee shirt. I got so excited. I'm counting the days til mine arrives in the mail. I literally cannot wait! This place represents hope for me. It gives me courage. It saved my life (at least for now). When I was diagnosed 2&1/2 years ago, I was told I wouldn't last long if I did nothing… I couldn't even say the little c, the word cancer, for months after my diagnosis. I believe my smile was gone. Words cannot describe the devastation.

The Big C, Christ, is my ultimate refuge. He restores my smile. He soothes my soul. His grace is sufficient for me. Through the little c, I have learned true reliance on the Big C. I am indebted to the little c for that. I am indebted to the little c for the friends I have made. I thank the little c for a perspective I needed. I thank the little c for teaching me the meaning of strength, courage, hope, & perseverance. Through the  little c, the Big C has refined my heart.

As The Race for The Cure approaches, I beg you to get involved. It's May 10th. For some it represents words like hope, strength, courage... It's touching. It always puts a lump in my throat. Long before my diagnosis, it had that effect on me. It's a deep sea of pink.The emotion of the day is overwhelming. The meaning of the loved ones who come along side me by walking or donating touches me in an unexplainable way. It makes my smile inevitable. The donation represents HOPE. HOPE for those who walk this unwanted journey in the future. HOPE for me, & maybe HOPE you.