The full whammy!

This evening I went to a meeting at Susan G. Komen. The Pink Promise Models are writing a book. Of course, the proceeds will go to Susan G. Komen. I have grown to love my Survivor friends. They are funny & quite witty. The book is going to be a collection of our stories & the stories of other breast cancer survivors. We all agree that each of us has such a unique journey (even tho' there are many  common threads).

My hope is that this book will be a comfort to other newly diagnosed survivors. The ladies also hope it will help others to understand the journey of the breast cancer survivor. It's so weird how just by walking this journey, you are given a platform which you can use to share your story & so much more. I always find comfort in being with other survivors, but sometimes, I get a bit shook up. When I leave with the realization that my case seems to be the most severe of those who gathered, I get a bit freaked out.

This happened to me at a yoga class in the early stages of my journey. I remember leaving that night in tears, so hopeless. Now 9 months farther down the road, I left with a similar realization. Wow! These beautiful women faced so much; many had surgery, but few had chemo & radiation. Most of them had clean lymph nodes. I said good-bye to one of my new survivor friends. She's a doll. She's 79 & a 32 year survivor. Yes... truly, remarkable!

As I got in my car, that realization hit me again. Wow! I really got the full whammy, the whole deal. Truth is, I don't really even know my prognosis. I was denied a PET scan. My life rests totally in God's hands. No tears tonight. Just that gnawing realization of the severity of my case. Peace reigns. I didn't even feel a need to share my thoughts with my husband when I got home.

The last time this happened, I never went back. I left in tears, & I sobbed all the way home. I made a quick stop at Starbucks, & in between tears, I ordered a Passion Tea. My sweet friend took my order. He recognized my voice. When I got to the window, he told me I would be okay because I rested in
God's hand. I don't believe his words were happenstance or that he was coincidentally working that night. No... God knew just what I needed, & I heard the truth.

So tonight as I drove my similar route home, I didn't stop at Starbuck's. I didn't even shed one tear. Yes... I shook my head somewhat in disbelief. But then my mind did its usual ADD thing & pondered many other things as I headed for home. As I stepped through my front door & greeted my boys (my husband & my sweet dog), I just felt happy. So happy to be home to my boys. Happy to be a part of this book. Happy for this journey of amazing new friends. Happy for emotional healing.