I've been thinking so much lately about the cruelty of aging. Just as there is really no easy way for a child to be born, I don't believe there is an easy way to age gracefully unto death. Watching a loved one's mind &/or body wear out is sad. Seeing a once spunky person struggle just to take a step or 2 makes me hurt. Fingers that once played the piano now struggle to find the right note.
Conversation is sometimes difficult. Just processing a simple question & responding with a simple answer is taxing. Getting up off the couch can be so trying. A body that used to be flexible is now stiff & uncooperative. Just getting 2 arms in a warm jacket causes distress. Getting out the door & into the car takes incredible perseverance.
The eyes which once sparkled have become dim. The smile & laughter that frequently came forth is now only an occasional visitor. Skin is thin. Sleep comes & goes as it pleases. Favorite food doesn't always taste so good. Staying focused isn't possible. Aches & pains are ever present. Short term memory comes & goes. Long term memory is quite intact.
Loneliness has become a frequent companion. Staring into space is now a past time. The days are long. Dawn & dusk blend together. It's hard to hear. It's hard to see. It's hard to understand. Staying balanced is difficult. Sensory feelings have diminished. The 5 senses are less impressive, & so, simple tasks have become complex.
As the body slows & a life ticks slowly away, loved ones helplessly observe the fading of a beautiful life. Memories come & go. A need to be close, to comfort, to ease ones pain tugs relentlessly at the heart. Peace comes just from being near. Lending a helping hand, providing a listening ear, explaining something simple, a warm touch, a gentle caress of the head, a little laughter, a glimpse of the past... all of these bring a sweet calm.
Life is precious. Yes... every stage is precious. As each day passes, life slowly slips away. Memories live in our hearts. They have a part in who we are. Love has a deeper meaning. Sadness resides in the heart. A beautiful life touches one's soul. The impact cannot be calculated. The softness of my heart cannot be changed. My life has been forever touched by this beautiful life. I can only be thankful.
What you have written is so beautiful and so true, Susie. Much of it has been on my mind lately, as well. It's so hard and unexpected what is happening to our loved ones and makes us face ourselves aging, as well. It frightens me. I loved spending time with my dad last week and it was very hard to leave, yet I will see him again next weekend. You are right that closeness helps. Being thankful is truly the answer. Love you! :)
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