Who knew?

A few days ago, my friend & I were in my basement. I was frantically searching through my rubber maids. I was looking for my Christmas decorations. Suddenly, it hit me like a bolt of lightening. I decorated my house the day before the tornado. My Christmas decorations were destroyed. My friend looked up & said, "I could have helped you figure that one out."

That's just a day in my life. I go about my business only to be struck by bolts of lightening that cause me to recount my losses. My losses are great, but my treasures are more. A year later we are in a new home. I walk into my house, & I feel as though I am outside. I love being close to nature. It soothes my soul.

We have grieved. We have felt emotion after emotion. Many of them have been painful & ugly. We have felt paralyzed at times. We could only focus on the next step, or we became overwhelmed. Sometimes we grieved together, but more often we grieved apart from each other. I think that's difficult on a marriage. It causes a disconnect, a gap.

Our friends have rescued us on more than one occasion. Who knew that the day our home blew away would also be the beginning of an assault on our sanity? Who knew the demons we would fight? Who knew the things we would see in each other? Who knew how our worst traits would become exaggerated? Who knew our resistance would be so low?… Who knew?

Nothing that day caught our Heavenly Father off guard. Nothing that happened in the days to follow surprised Him. For tomorrow is as close as yesterday for Him. He knew, & He allowed such an awful thing to happen. Why? I don't know. I only know that it does not cause me to doubt His love for me.

We live in a cursed world. We are not robots. We have a choice to love. We have a choice to have faith or not. We have a choice to persevere. We have a choice to believe that all things work for good for those who love the Lord & are called according to His purpose. I believe.