Today, I sunk to a new low. I was in a dressing room when I couldn't help but overhear a conversation between a mother & her teen daughter. The only way I could not have heard this conversation would have been if I had earplugs (which I do not carry in my purse). The daughter wanted her mother to buy her an item of clothing that the mother did not find appropriate.
The teen started berating her mother by using a substitute cuss word in every sentence. She was angry with her mother for refusing to buy her this much needed item that her best friend already owned. Her mother calmly told her that it must fit her best friend differently, but it wasn't right for her. The daughter insisted that she & her friend were the same size. She then told her mother that she was only hurting her (that is the daughter) by not buying her what she wanted.
The mother sweetly responded that she was not hurting her. She then told her daughter that when they had time, they could go to another store to look for a more suitable fit. At this, the daughter went on a tirade about if her mother hadn't insisted on going to the department store first, they would have had time to go today.
I don't know if it was the substitute "F" word that got to me or just the downright lack of gratefulness in this teenager's heart. But... as the conversation continued, my blood began to boil. Maybe it was the fact that my oldest daughter & I had just been discussing the toll my cancer had taken on her & her sisters. I've raised 3 daughters to young adulthood, & we've had some ugly moments. I don't think it's possible to survive the teen years without manipulation & at least a few hurtful words now & then.
The mother finally left the fitting room & went to look at clothing. The daughter took her time & finished putting herself back together. I ran into the mother outside the fitting room. She was calm & smiling. I, on the other hand, was visibly shaken. The mother asked me if her daughter was still talking. I quietly said no.
Then... I crossed the line. I asked her if she'd like me to speak to her daughter. This sweet woman shook her head no. I told her that I'd spent this past year fighting cancer, & that her daughter's ungratefulness really bothered me. I told her she was being so kind, & her daughter needed to appreciate her. I looked her in the eye & told her she could share whatever part of our conversation she wanted to with her daughter. The woman reached out, patted my shoulder, & thanked me.
I'm sure she was thinking... That poor soul. I'm sorry she's suffered this past year, but she really needs to mind her own business. She's right. I believe I was out of line. I shook inside for the next 20 minutes. I wish I could apologize to this woman for sticking my 2 cents in her business. That wasn't my place.
First of all, Susie, I think what you did was brave and that it was the right thing to do. You do not owe the woman any kind of apology. Sometimes what we say and do in the midst of being upset is something that is needed to be done. I think, whether the mother shared what you said with her daughter or not, you helped that mother. You helped her to teach her daughter how to behave in public, as well as how to treat her mother. Whether or not she does it is up to her. But you gave her something to think about and that never hurts anyone. I think you did the right thing and I am, as always, in awe of you -- love you! :)
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