Monday, October 1, 2012

It's too much!

Today begins Breast Cancer Awareness month. In recognition, I've had my nails painted a bright pink, displaying a sparkly ribbon on each thumbnail. This morning I met with 2 survivor friends for breakfast. We were caught totally off guard when a woman anonymously payed our bill & even left money for the tip. I felt so honored. She told the hostess she just wanted to do it because we are survivors.

I'm sure some people get tired of hearing about breast cancer. It sure does get a lot of hype. In the beginning of my journey, I felt guilty because breast cancer receives more attention than any other cancer. However, after walking this journey now just a little over a year, I sense an urgency to find a cure for this dreaded disease. It catches you by surprise & overtakes your life. 1 in 8 women will get breast cancer.

No one is immune to this terrible disease. It has a foreign language all its own. It's a mixed bag of treatments & side effects. Will it come back with a vengeance, or will it be just a chapter in your life? Everything about it seems so random to the patient. Yes...  statistics seem to be available for every possible scenario, but the bottom line is There are no guarantees.

You have choices, & you have to choose what brings you the most peace. Never mind if your doctor tells you No one else would do what you have decided to do. You must educate yourself, learn the foreign language, & become your own advocate. Depending on your diagnosis, you may be seeing 4 or 5 different doctors. If you don't keep everything coordinated, important decisions will slip through the cracks.

In 19 days, I will be attending a benefit for a dear friend. She is fighting for her life. She has 2 young children. Her cancer came back with a vengeance & now resides in her bones, her brain, & her liver. In spite of her almost constant pain, she chooses joy. She wants her children to have a childhood with memories apart from their mama suffering from cancer. My heart breaks for them. Seeing their mama suffer is unbearable. It's too much! She is my hero.  When I was newly diagnosed, she wanted me to know that it would likely just be a chapter in my life (unlike her own).

So... for her... I will recognize this month of October, Breast Cancer Awareness month. I will do all I can for this cause. 1 in 8 is too many effected lives. I've sat in small crowds many times this past year, knowing there were at least 3 survivors present. Seeing all the pink at Race for The Cure is sobering. It's heart wrenching. It's overwhelming. It's too much!


2 comments:

  1. Susie,I don't know where to start. You know my mom died of breast cancer when I was 21. She was 47 years old. That sounds so young now. She was diagnosed when she was 42. That year I turned 42 I was scared, even more so when I turned 47. I actually figured out how many years and days my mom lived in her lifetime and figured if I made it past October 15 of my 47th year I had lived longer. The several times I have had to have needle biopsies and diagnostic mammograms I have panicked. Each year that goes by I feel lucky I have not had to face what you have faced this past year. I cannot imagine being so strong. In that respect, you are my hero -- not because you have had breast cancer, but because of the way you have dealt with everything and how you have educated so many of us, many who, unfortunately, will walk the walk you have this past year. I am so proud to call you my friend. I wear a bracelet every October to remember and to honor those who have been affected by this horrific disease. I can't wait to see your pretty nails on Wednesday. Love you! :)

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  2. Sherry, Thank you for your kind words. I do not feel like a hero, but I very much appreciate that you would think that of me. I am deeply sorry you lost your mom so young. It's too much! I treasure your friendship. You always make me feel happy. Love you too, Susie

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