The Irony

Recently, I had the honor of helping with a special event. Early on... I was greeted by someone I hadn't seen in a long time with probably the most heartfelt hug I've ever had. It made me so happy, I could have cried. This young person has a disability which makes it difficult to interact socially with others. As this person helped me with my tasks, I began thinking about one of my earliest callings in life, helping those with disabilities.

I had so many thoughts bombarding my head, I could barely keep up with them. I started having flashbacks about people I have known through the years who were born with disabilities. I was thinking of this young person who was so lovingly & willingly helping me. This person was totally tuned into my needs, instinctively knowing that I wasn't quite up to my duties.

I think God was trying to tell me something, & I didn't want to miss it. I knew I was onto something profound, I just couldn't quite put it all together. As I was driving home, my mind kept gravitating towards this helping heart. This person who prayed for me through my illness. He rejoiced in seeing me back on my feet. He looked out for me & lifted heavy things for me.

I was thinking... How is it that this person (with his disabilities) tuned into me & cared for me? Others were there checking in on me, but he was serving me. Others asked me if I needed anything, but he didn't ask, he just did. I was marveling at the irony in all of this.

As human beings, we are so judgmental. We constantly label people & treat them accordingly. We make it our business to know what label explains their quirks. Our expectations are even gaged by the labels we give them. I believe God was trying to pound into my head & my heart the wrongness of such judgements & treatments. 

I heard His still small voice saying... Look at people with disabilities first as people. The label is secondary, & it doesn't define them. Hmmnnn.... am I guilty? I feel as though I've spent a good portion of my life caring for people with disabilities. I've advocated for them, & I've included them. Is it possible that I didn't see them as people first? Is it possible that I saw their disability before their person?

As I admit this, I feel so ashamed. How could I not see the person first? I don't even have an answer for this. I'm thankful that God is cleaning my heart and helping me see the wretchedness in my own life. I want my heart to be refined. I want to see people as people. I don't want to label anyone. I want to see them through the eyes of Jesus, in the same way He sees them. Now I must ask... What else am I unaware of in my own heart? Please God... break my heart for what breaks yours. Create in me a clean heart.