Today has been a day unlike any I've had in a long time. We went to church & loved the sermon, worshiping, & seeing our friends. I am so thankful to have found a church that I love. Our boy, Eddie, is home from Wisconsin, & having him in church with us is always special. I love to worship with him. After lunch, we went on a little shopping spree at Walgreen's. Looking for greeting cards with Eddie is always fun.
On the way home, we discussed how we would spend our afternoon. I've had a few goals lately that I've been unable to accomplish due to the heat wave that has lasted all summer. Today was beautiful, & I decided to take advantage of the cooler temperature. My front porch has not been cleaned in forever, & it looked dirty! Today, I finally cleaned the whole front porch from top to bottom. I haven't been able to use my arms since my surgery nor had the energy. It felt so good to be able to do this (mostly on my own).
I have spent this past year depending on others or just letting things go. As the 1st anniversary of my diagnosis approaches, I'm beginning to realize how much of this past year I have spent disconnected from the world. As I get together with friends, it seems to me that their kids should be in the same place they were a year ago when my life changed. I feel as though I fell off the face of the earth, & of course, life went on...
My friends' children continued to grow & seem so much older than they did a year ago. Junk has managed to accumulate in my home, & it's time for sorting, pitching, & cleaning. We've made a few trips to the Goodwill lately. Many things have not been given needed attention, & it shows. So... to begin to make a dent feels really good.
Tomorrow, I have labs & a treatment. I feel as though we will be once again rolling the dice, waiting on results, very much out of our control. I know there is really nothing random about this, & that God goes before me & already knows my results. I know nothing will come my way that He hasn't allowed. Reminding myself of this always brings me comfort & strength to face each obstacle.
After labs & treatment, we will head to the airport to pick up our daughter. She has been gone for 2 months in a far away place, South Africa. That's how long I have been waiting for this day. I've been anticipating it for a long time, imagining her coming out of the terminal, seeing those pretty eyes & that gorgeous smile, & hugging her like I never have before.
This morning in church, a sweet lady I've never met, came up & introduced herself to me. She told me I have a beautiful story. I was touched. Having cancer has changed so much about me, yet it hasn't stolen my faith or my joy. I guess that is the beautiful part. It's taken almost a year, but I don't awake each morning anymore thinking about cancer. I don't feel sad. I'm just enjoying each day.
So what will tomorrow bring? I don't expect better results because my medication hasn't changed. Our plan is just to monitor things for awhile, & that is my hope. I want to head to the airport without worrying about my labs. However, I will head to the airport with great anticipation regardless of my results. I have dreamed about this moment for 2 months, & I am going to grab it & savor it. After all, it's part of my beautiful story.
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