My eyes welled with tears.

Today, I received a very unexpected surprise. A family made a significant donation to a ministry that is  dear to my heart  in my honor.  What I'm about to say might sound braggadocios, but truly, that is not my intent. I am blogging about it because I know what was written about me can only be attributed to God & not to me. That is why I feel compelled to share it. So... I risk my readers thinking ill of me for writing this. Please forgive me if that is how you take this blog.

The givers of this meaningful donation said that my honesty, strength, & wisdom are inspiring. Sometimes when I write these blogs, I feel rather lame. As I've said before, I pretty much live my life as an open book. Some would say... TMI. Others would say... Get a life. AND I'm sure other things have been thought too if not said aloud. I can't be anything but honest, but I'm sure that my frequent blogging about my life wears on my family & even bores some.

As for strength, I am not strong in any sense of the word. Physically, I have trouble opening jars, carrying a load of clothes, & the list continues. My physical weakness is due to a problem with the lining of my nerves plus the after effects of chemo therapy & surgery. Emotionally, I am a basket case. I have lived my life (as long as I can remember) with anxiety. It is my constant companion, & I see it as a mixed blessing. It makes me so fearful, but at the same time, it glues me to God. Because I live with anxiety, not a day goes by that I don't cry out to God with my burdens. He never fails me.

Lastly, wisdom. I almost chuckle at the thought of this one. I am in no way intellectual. I'm all heart, & sometimes kind of on the slow side when it comes to catching on to things  (physically, technically, &  abstractly). Because I have ADD, reading takes great concentration. Since chemo, I have to search for the right words, & sometimes they never come to me.  Having a conversation is sometimes hard because my brain is so random. I can't remember #'s & frequently mix up my check book. Again, the list goes on.

So... as I received word this morning of this beautiful donation made in my honor, I felt so incredibly honored. My heart started palpitating, & my eyes welled with tears. I am not worthy of such descriptive words for which this honor was given in my name. Yes... I'm honest (to a fault). No... I'm not strong, & those closest to me would probably NOT say I am wise. I must say... To the dear friends that made this donation, I am awestruck by both your kind donation & your words. I give the glory to God, because without Him, I am nothing.