my brothers

I have 2 older brothers. Today I talked to both of them. As I was reminiscing in my mind about our conversations, I began to think back through the past. Such powerful memories... not because anything miraculous happened in our lives, but because we share our childhood. We are each made from the same 2 parents. How bout that? We each have a unique set of personality traits; yet we share some quirks. It's fascinating to see how God gifted each of us, which talents we do & don't possess.

For many years, I believed I had no tangible gifts. Athletically, I'll be honest, I was always the last one picked for the team. I remember standing with a lump in my throat, using every bit of strength I could muster, trying not to cry as I stood praying I would hear my name called by a fellow class mate. Musically, I couldn't sing in tune. I didn't even really understand what that meant. I struggled through years & years of piano lessons, just wishing my teacher would release me. When it came to academics, I did okay. I worked hard & seemed to compensate for my lack of natural ability.

In 4th grade, I realized I had nothing to offer the world of giftedness. I decided at 10 years old, that I needed to become the nicest person I could be if I was going to have a place in this world. So much for the psychology of a little school girl. From that day forward, I dedicated myself to kindness. As I've said in earlier blogs, I loved people. As I look back, I am beginning to see that kindness was easy to develop because it perhaps was my gift. I just didn't recognize it as such.

I think that who we become depends not only on how we are gifted but also on our lack of gifts. If I would have been an athlete, a musician, a scholar, or an artist, I would have found my identity in my gift. I don't believe that is the case for each person that is given a tangible talent. I am just saying, it likely would have been my trap. God knows best.

Some days... I long to sing with a sweet voice, just to be able to carry a tune. Probably not this side of Heaven. I'd love to draw a pretty picture or participate in a sport with just enough ability to enjoy the game. I don't think so. Now... thanks to chemo, my brain is struggling at times too. Finding the right word sometimes requires a loved one's help.

However, my identity is secure. I may have had trouble finding my gift, but I have never floundered in knowing to whom I belong. Today, as I talked to my brothers, I felt this deep connection because they are watching over me as they did in grade school. They are praying for me. They treat me with love & respect & encourage me. We share a double bond: our childhood & our faith.

Dedicated to: Danny & Daryl