What if?

Before I begin this blog, I would like to thank anyone who reads it. It has been very healing for me to blog. I never imagined how it would help me heal & give me a purpose. Sometimes, I am awakened in the night & feel there is something I am supposed to share. Other times, I'm bored so I literally blog to save my sanity. It works. Usually, when I begin my blog, I only have a thought or an idea. It takes me about an hour & 1/2 to write each blog. Prior to this experience, I really didn't even know I had a blog in me or  furthermore, enjoyed writing. Bless each of you who read it & take time to encourage me. I believe God is leading me, & I will do all I can to keep it that way. It will cease if/when I no longer feel His leading.

So the question that's been on my mind lately is...WHAT IF I AM WRONG?  What if I have invested my life (for as long as I can remember) in Christ, & it turns out, I am wrong? What if the Holy Bible is not God-breathed? What If Jesus turns out to be a lunatic or a liar & not my Savior? What if the Holy Spirit doesn't exist, & I am misguided? What if I have spent my whole life serving someone who is at best concocted?

My friend asked me today if I have ever turned away from God. My answer: No. I have followed Christ my whole life. If anything, in the last decade, I have loved Him more deeply. In the last few months, He has sustained me.  So... what if I have spent my life in vain?

I follow a CaringBridge site in which the mom whose young child has a cancerous brain tumor always signs off with 2 words... no regrets. I too would like to claim those 2 words. If everything I believe in, everything I put my hope in, everything I trust, turns out to be a hoax, I will have no regrets.


At this point, I know some people will call me a fool. I am perfectly okay with being called a fool for my beliefs. What is the worst that could happen as a result of spending my life following Christ? I will have spent my whole life trying to be Christ like.What does that mean? Perhaps I will have turned my cheek one too many times. Maybe I will actually have forgiven someone 70 X 7. When I die, maybe my body will just rot in the ground instead of my soul finding an eternal home in Heaven. I think that if my faith turns out to be a joke, my hope in Christ will still have saved my life. Without Him, my anxiety would be over the top. And... what about the Holy Spirit & the still small voice of God I claim to hear?   If this peace that surpasses all understanding turns out not to be of God, what harm has it caused?

So... I stake my claim. I haven't always gotten it right. I've made a whole hoard of mistakes. I've had to apologize to my loved ones time & again. I've uttered words I wish I could retract. I've been self-righteous. I've been judgmental.  I've lacked confidence. I've worried uncontrollably. I've hurt others' feelings. At times, I've made a fool of myself (but not for believing in Christ). I cannot hear the name of Jesus without my body eliciting an emotional response. Why? Because there is power in His name. If I am wrong, it's okay. I have never hurt another person for striving to be like Christ. I will have no regrets for placing my heart & my hope in Jesus.