Thursday, May 17, 2012

read between the lines

Sometimes one has to read  between the lines to find God's presence. This week has been a tough week. As we headed to the zoo on Sunday, I was so grateful to do something fun on a beautiful day (partly because I knew this week would have its difficulties). It used to be hard for me to enjoy anything in life when I knew trouble was on the horizon. I am just the opposite now. I cherish each precious moment regardless of what's next.

I've found that time spent with loved ones is the best medicine of all. Laughter is priceless & good for the soul. Being with loved ones takes my mind off my troubles & fills my heart with warmth. Last night, 2 of my daughter's friends came to visit me. I've known them since they were tiny, & an hour spent with them was pure joy. I loved hearing their summer plans & what they like best about school. Truly, I'm honored that they took time for me.

Last night, one of my dear friends went in search of a little hand size fan because she thought it would help dry out my wound. She delivered it late at night & brought me a cherry coke today & sat for an hour. She always makes me laugh. In fact, I recently envisioned the 2 of us on the front of a Hallmark card in our elderly years. Yes, quite a sight! As she left, I shared my deepest thoughts with her, & she gave me her best for the moment. I felt like she was God's provision.

I have a new friend, someone I've become very close to in a short amount of time. She took me to my radiation today, accompanied me to my doctor visit, & then treated me to some new foods for lunch. Yes... I believe she is God's provision too. It's hard to go to radiation knowing it's going to increase your pain. It's like entering a torture chamber. However, knowing my new friend was taking me somehow made it okay. Hearing her insights & knowing that she perceived things as I did was affirming.

I have been given tomorrow off. The area under my arm will no longer be radiated. I will receive my boost (5 more treatments). I've been assured I've gotten enough to do the job. I can only trust as I have found this whole process confusing from the start. My wound will take some time to heal, 2 to 3 weeks, & I think it will get worse before it gets better. As I've said before, when you factor in pain & fear, it changes your outlook, not for the better.

As I review the past few days, my sorrow is diminished by my friends. They have been my earthly comfort. They have eased my burdens & calmed my fears. They have provided diversion from my misery. I believe they are God's provision along with my youngest daughter who has stood by my side since she's been home. As I prayed my way through today's radiation, I felt God saying...I am here with you as you suffer. I will not leave you. I needed His presence, & it made everything okay.


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