anxiety

I wish I could shut my mind off. I wish I cold stop thinking about things that are troublesome to me. It seems that everywhere I turn, there is a reminder of my journey or a friend on a similar journey. I have other things bothering me too. I cannot get into the specifics, but suffice it to say, I'd like to have a break from the things that are wearing on me. But... who wouldn't?

I am familiar with positive ways to cope with anxiety. I believe prayer is my best defense, followed by loved ones, & a good book. I doubt that people who live with anxiety can fathom what it would be like to spend just a day without our daily companion. On the same note, I wonder if people who do not have constant anxiety, have any idea what it's like to live daily with this condition.

As I look back on my life, I think I've always had anxiety. I know it started to trouble me more as I reached my preteen years. However, I didn't even know what anxiety was back then, or that I suffered from it. I just knew I suffered. I knew I worried uncontrollably about things that didn't seem to bother other people. I knew I shook uncontrollably at times, but I never knew why. I also knew that fear sometimes paralyzed me.

As an adult, it took a crisis for me to seek help. Too bad I didn't realize help was available many years earlier. One day I became so devastated with the circumstance in my life, I couldn't function. I could only cry. It was on this day (roughly 10 years ago), I reached for the phone & called for help. My beloved doctor prescribed some medication which has added so much quality to my life.

I still have my anxiety, but medicine allows me to function & not be weighed down by everyday life. I know it's helping me immensely with the heavier concerns of my life, but lately the heavier concerns have been pretty heavy. I think my treatments have taken their toll on my tired body, & my reserves are down. I heard on TV yesterday, that drinking hot tea is healthy, not only because of it's medicinal effects, but because we tend to sit & ponder our thoughts while we drink our tea.

As I have tried to incorporate healthy habits into my life, I have been drinking more hot tea. I have also been pondering life, probably too much. I am prone to pondering & seeing how God is present in the orchestration of my life. I love discovering God's almighty hand in my life. It's late now, & I should be shutting my mind off & going to sleep, but I feel the need to ponder. I think I'll have a cup of tea...