Doctors

In less then 2 weeks, I have seen 5 doctors.  Suffice it to say... I've had to buck up & face the music. No escape. I've asked several questions. I've found comfort & encouragement. I've experienced aloofness, disconnection, & downright grumpiness. I have 2 doctors that have taken time to truly understand what makes me tick, & they are my best alliance. They are consistent. They seem to care about my overall well being. They "get" my anxiety & factor it into the whole picture.

If I haven't learned anything else on this journey, I've learned that doctors are human beings. This is both good & bad. In some cases, they seem to see themselves as more.  In other cases, it just makes me realize that they, too, are entitled to less than pretty moments. The hardship being: sometimes their unpretty moments coincide with my long awaited for appointment. If I catch them when they are off, I leave their office empty (even with good news).

Sometimes, I just need help sorting through information, & that seems to be a nuisance. I try to be an organized patient. I think about my appointments before I go. I take time to write down my questions. I try not to waste their time. I try to be positive & thankful. All that being said, I still can walk out of their office feeling sad or empty. Maybe it's just me...

So heres what I know: I have some liver enzymes that are slightly elevated. This seems to be a recurrent problem, so I need a little extra monitoring. I have a wisdom tooth that needs to be pulled. Yikes! I need a colonoscopy in the next year or so. Again, yikes! My tumor marker test was normal. Yay! My blood counts are good. Double yay! My OB exam was all normal. Relief! My skin is remarkably healing from radiation. Nothing short of a miracle. My arm that had the lymph node dissection is bothering me less & less. I never thought I'd be able to say that.

My energy level is amazing me. My sleeping is still an issue. My friends are the best. My family is irreplaceable. My faith is intact. I need to start exercising. I love having things to look forward to. I enjoy simple things. As for the outcome of all my appointments, whether the doctor was having a less than pretty moment or not, I am thankful for overall good news. The things that are a bit off are manageable. As for the uncertainties of this rotten disease recurring, for now, I am back where I belong, trusting in God for His overall goodness.