He promised to go the distance.

This morning I sit on my couch with random thoughts about everything... This blog is probably going to be as random as my thoughts which seem to be all over the place. Last night, on the evening news, Robin Roberts' sad story was shared. She had announced it earlier in the day on Good Morning America. Due to a reaction to her chemo treatments from her breast cancer 5 years ago, she now has pre leukemia & is in need of more chemo (which will begin immediately), & a bone marrow transplant (her sister will be her donor).

With tears in her eyes, she shared her news. Kleenex was close at hand, & fellow workers sat on each side holding her hands. Pictures of her beautiful sister (her donor) were also shown. Her news is tragic, but since she is young (51), in otherwise good health, & her sister is a good match, she has hope. I hear news like this almost weekly, & it never ceases to break my heart. It also serves as a reminder of my own future & its possibilities.

I didn't know that chemo could actually cause leukemia. I bet I was told & even signed papers stating I understood the possible outcomes, but in my state of shock, I have no recollection. So... hearing this last night is just one more thing to absorb, to add to the list of unknowns. I'm thinking it might be best if I stop keeping this list in my head & just let go. I asked my dear friend, my Angel of Hope (now a 5 year survivor), how she managed to live her life without constantly dwelling on these unknowns.

She smiled, shrugged her shoulders, & said she guessed she had blinders on her eyes. Perhaps that is what I need: blinders. I don't want to shut out the news. I don't want to be uninformed. She's not. So... I guess the trick is to learn how to absorb life without taking everything personally. After all, even with similarities, everyone's story is unique.

If I believe I rest in the palm of God's hand (which I do), then I need to live accordingly. I need to wrap my head & my heart around the fact that nothing will happen to me that hasn't been sifted through God's mighty hand. If He allows it, then it is okay (whether I like it or not). If He allows it, then He will provide me with the grace & strength to walk each day, each moment. He hasn't forsaken me yet, so I know I can count on His ever presentness in my life. After all, He never promised it would be easy, but He does promise to go the distance with me.