It's time...

It's late, & I should go to bed. I have so many thoughts running through my head. I am tired but not in the mood to sleep (if that even makes sense). Yesterday, I had one of many doctor appointments this week. I saw my Gastroenterologist, & he was very encouraging. He helped me put some things into perspective which have been on my mind. More than anything, I think he helped me get my mind back into a positive mode.

I know people have been praying for me, & I am grateful. I may not have survived the last month if it weren't for these prayers. The mental anguish of this journey is one of the biggest battles of all. Staying positive is important, but pretending does little to no good. My GI helped me see that I am not just a page of statistics. He said that each case is different (of course), & that the treatments one receives are not just according to statistics. Rather, a good doctor makes a clinical decision based on years of practice & the overall situation of the patient.

He got me back to realizing that because we know my chemo was effective, we have great hope. He didn't deny that we will never really know how many lymph nodes were effected (because I had my chemo before surgery), but he assured me I had very effective treatment. I am in awe that he takes so much time to talk to me & comfort me. I am blessed to have him on my team.

As I blogged a few blogs ago... after I saw my youngest daughter off to South Africa, God impressed upon my heart that the message He gave me for her was also for me. What a realization. It may not seem profound, but to me in my current state of mind, it is everything. He made it clear to me that I am to focus on today & enjoy today. I am not to get ahead of myself but to go back to placing myself in His mighty hand. Yes... it's truly the best place in all the world to be.

So... as my middle daughter told me yesterday. It's time to enjoy, to have a little summer. After all, it is my favorite time of year. Today, I received some beautiful flowers from one of my daughter's best friends & her mother. Oddly enough the note read as follows... To a great summer & many smiles. I believe God is using my daughter & the dear friends who sent me the lovely bouquet to affirm His message to me. It's time to be happy!