all is stripped away...

I love how life works. Sometimes it seems as though things are coincidental, but I don't believe in coincidence. Therefore, I must give God the credit for orchestrating seemingly little things that have big meaning in my life. As I've mentioned before I was a youth leader for 8 years, 8 of the most fulfilling years of my life. During a portion of this time, a dear friend (a college student) faithfully lead worship for me. Every now & then, he would honor me by surprising me with my favorite worship song, " The Heart of Worship." I think with my ADD & all, I always referred to it as "I'll Give you More than a Song." When he played this song, my heart lit up because it expressed exactly how I felt. It still does.

The song begins...When the music fades, & all is stripped away. Today I was thinking about when all is stripped away. I think that's when only the truth is left. All pretense is gone, no more pretending. It's actually a good place to be. So many times, I think we try to hide behind our fears & pretend that everything is okay. Cancer has a way of stripping away everything, from your dignity to anything you tried to hide. I find that I am frequently not recognizable anymore. Weird, but true. Sometimes it's convenient, but usually it's just strange to watch people pretend they know you. When I was first diagnosed, I thought about hiding the truth from my mom. I couldn't bear to hurt her so deeply. After my first chemo treatment, I realized I was incapable of carrying off such a charade.

I've tried to convince myself of certain things in the past. I've found it takes a lot of effort & energy to pretend. It involves an ongoing awareness to make something seem different than it is. The truth is much easier, & it really does set you free. It's a relief to be left with the truth, even when it hurts. You can deal with the truth. You can't deal with something that doesn't exist. Back to that thing called coincidence (which I don't believe in).... today a friend messaged me this:

I've finally discovered the bright side of uncertainty- possibility. Although "security" is alluring, it often means everything is all mapped out, & even then, security is an illusion. Everything can change in a second. When we accept that life is uncertain, we can embrace the excitement of realizing that anything is possible. The future could hold miracles...


What beautiful words my friend sent me. As I read them, I marveled at their meaning, & at how how God was affirming my thoughts. Having my security stripped away really is okay because it was always only an illusion. It only existed in my head, not in reality. The one thing that can never be stripped away is the hope I have in Christ. It's significance is eternal. It cannot be removed.