looking forward...

I think it's healthy to have things to look forward to in life. As a cancer patient, it helps immensely. It enables me to focus on sweet things rather than some of the difficulties I am experiencing. It truly takes my mind off my troubles. Right now, I am done with 12 radiation sessions & have 21 more to go. Will I make it? I guess that depends on my skin. It's starting to get that sunburned feeling & look. I expect it to get much worse over the next few weeks. If there is any good in this, by the time my skin blisters, the treatments will be almost done. Emotionally, I am a bit more stable than I have been.

I attribute my somewhat even keel as of late to all of the joy my friends & family have brought me. I turned 50 last week, & I think it was the most meaningful birthday I've ever had. I received some beautiful gifts, things I never expected. I had friends accompany me to my treatments which made them seem like social outings. I also received some lovely messages, phone calls, texts, & flowers. Wow! I feel spoiled.

Our patio furniture finally arrived (1 week late & needing to be assembled). So that's how our weekend went... my husband assembling our new patio furniture. At least, we are happy with it, & some warmer weather is on the way. Today, he gave me his complete blessing to plan a little trip with a dear friend. I am very excited about this. I feel like he has become my own personal make-a-wish foundation. I don't think I deserve this beautiful treatment. I wish everyone was loved like this by their mate.

I told him today that I would rather live my life with cancer being loved by him then to have a strained relationship with my husband & not have this burden of cancer. That's pretty powerful, but it's the truth. My best moments in life are with him when our stars are aligned. Being in his arms is Heaven on earth to me. So... I'll fight my fight. I'll trust in God for the outcome, & in the meantime, I will thank God for my husband & look forward to the simple joys that come each day.