Wednesday, April 11, 2012

"It is Well"

Ever hear the song, "It is Well?" It has quite a history. Horatio Spafford, the writer, wrote these tremendous words following the tragic drowning of his 4 daughters. It baffles my mind & my heart that he could say, "It is well with my soul" after suffering such a deep loss. Today as I drove into Peoria, I listened to the words. I cried out to God & told Him my soul was not well.

For some reason, I allowed radiation to turn me inside out & upside down. I became unnerved & fearful. All of the measuring & preparation combined with the complexity of my situation & extended period of waiting was just too much for me. The physical pain from extending my arms during the filming sessions wore on my mind as well. My emotions crashed. When I crash, I crash hard. That's nothing new!

My husband insisted on accompanying me to my first session. En route, I was tearful, & he was hopeful (that I would feel better after my first session). I somehow stayed glued together as I faced my fears. My arms hurt from the get go, but the time went quickly. The technicians came & went attending to my details. When the Dosimetrist told me I had finished my first treatment, I was stunned.

I don't feel I did my part to ease my fears. I didn't really turn this situation over to God & trust in Him. Instead I allowed terrifying thoughts to invade my peace. When the session was over,  I walked out the hospital doors & smiled at my beloved, a sense of relief came over me. I can only attribute this to all of the prayers said on my behalf. They have carried me since Day 1 on this journey, & I believe, once again, being covered in prayer brought me back where I belong. My soul was restored.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Susie, that sounds wonderful. If the treatments continue to be easy on you then God sure is answering prayers immediately. Maybe He will heal you faster than expected. Regardless, just remember "when you can't Trust His Hands, Trust His Heart!" Praying for you and your family! Love you dearly!

    ~Sydni

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